letlovebesincere

Monday, January 30, 2012

To My Conservative Friends...

…an apology. (warning, this one gets a little political)

Three years ago, when ‘universal healthcare’ became a popular thing to talk about/discuss/share opinions on, I got real frustrated with my conservative friends. Although I was not in support of Universal Healthcare because I found it to be a stretch of government, I found some of the ‘scare tactics’ of the ‘extreme right’ to be nothing less than absurd.

I criticized the ‘religious-right’ in a particular way. As some of you might know, though many would classify me as conservative, I actually don’t align myself with all popular thinking of the conservative right. So, where my liberal friends would think I was nothing less than a ‘crazy conservative’ (as being pro-life often makes you), I am often critiqued by the right for being wishy-washy. When, in reality, I try to be fair and balanced in my thoughts (like what I did there???). So, while I cannot stand the thought process of Rachel Maddow, I equally cannot stand Mr. Glen Beck’s and his friend’s version of reality. I see them as the same.

So, when my conservative friends said things like, ‘you watch, it is only a matter of time before this administration mandates that abortion/birth control be forced upon Catholic institutions’, I thought to myself, ‘you have got to be kidding, talk about an exaggeration’. When people waved flags of caution regarding ‘obamacare’, I was frustrated by a term I found to be about as far from proactivity as possible. As little as 3-4 months ago, people were posting articles about ‘Franciscan University forced to hand out birth control’…and I thought to myself, ‘there they go again, making something out of nothing, polarizing this country with their extremity’. Turns out, this time, I was DEAD WRONG.

Apparently, we do live in a country where religious conscience is threatened. Apparently, the government can force religious institutions to go against their moral code. If you would have asked me a week ago, I would’ve thought it impossible that in our country, a country that was FOUNDED on religious freedom, the Catholic Church would be put in the position that she is being put in today.

so, my conservative friends, I owe you an apology. I apologize for each time I accused you to your face or in my thoughts of extreme reactions. I apologize because as you tried to raise flags of warning, I ignored and sometimes mocked you. I apologize that I couldn’t see what you so clearly did.

And this, my friends, is why you will continue to see posts about this awful government movement in the United States of America. Because I shouldn’t have been as naïve as I was three years ago, and I won’t be as naïve again.

Which, btw, doesn’t mean I’ll start watching Glen Beck. J

Happy Monday

Saturday, January 21, 2012

Loving Conversations with my Husband

"Can you rub my back when we get home tonight"- Me

"No, I am on strike"- Aaron

"But honey, I threw up all day today"- Me

"Yeah, and I went to work today. Throwing up and having babies is your job"- Aaron

So, ladies and gentlemen...lest you think I married the perfect man, it is important to point out his rare, though SEVERE, flaws.

Have a happy Saturday!

Mary

Thursday, January 19, 2012

LAST NIGHT...

Here is something interesting about me that I am pretty unapologetic about. I love my child. In fact, if you know me you know I really do (that is not the interesting thing). However, the ‘infant/baby’ phase does very little for me. I have heard all the warnings about, ‘wishing it away’, but I figure each parent has a stage in life when they are rockstars and some parents are really good with babies. Some parents would like nothing more than to rock their sweet baby boy/girl all day long. I am not that parent. I am super psyched for Lil’ Aaron to grow up and to hear the sound of his voice, to watch him walk, to discover the world with him. So, this phase, I am kind of excited to be out of (number 2 will take care of any longing I might have). So, yesterday I truly surprised myself in my sentimentality about Aaron’s baby-ness going away.

Our kid is magical for a lot of reasons and in a lot of ways, he has rocked the ‘milestone’ chart. BUT, in some ways, he has just decided to create his own reality. As a consequence, he JUST learned to roll over from his back to his front (don’t worry, he could roll the other way, crawl, etc…). Because of that, bedtime has always been easy for us. We lay him down, on his back in the center of the crib and if it is nap, we come back 1.5 hours later and he is in the same place (usually talking to himself). When we put him down at night, 8-10 hours later, we find him in the same position we left him, in the center of the crib, on his back. We turn on the mobile and he watches it until he falls asleep. Until yesterday, yesterday he learned to roll over from his back to his front and therefore to sit up on his own and pull himself up in the crib.

And guess what? It made me sad.

Not sad because naptime will be harder (it will be). Not sad because we had to lower his crib (we did). But sad because it means my baby is growing up. We had to take down his mobile, for now he can grab it. Last night, when I got home from work, I went to peek in on him sleeping. Sweet baby boy, for the first time ever, was sleeping on his belly, booty in the air, on top of the covers. He was sleeping like that because he played around in his crib, with his new found freedom, before he fell asleep. And, for the first time, this mommy realized that the ‘baby phase’ is going to be sorely missed. That it does kind of ‘fly by’. It kind of brought a tear to my eye and for the first time I realized that before I know it, he is going to be a big boy, so I should cherish the baby moments I have left. And so, I will try. That is it for today! Happy Thursday!

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Reasons I love my little guy

Just a few for today...

He laughs SO loud and with his whole body. My mom has been around a LOT of babies and she says, 'I have never seen a kid laugh like that'. It is amazing and lights up the room.

Yesterday, I had to take him to a staff meeting. He played quietly on the floor, then, at one point, I was holding him and he rested his head on my shoulder and just looked up at me. Special moments like that ROCK

He is the funniest crawler! One of his legs stays straight and the other does all the work. It is awesome to watch his face this week (the week he really mastered crawling) as he discovered he can kind of get anywhere he wants to go. Now, the fun of childproofing our house and getting rid of clutter so our home can be his playland.

He is a silly goose. I really think he does things perfectly sometimes. When he looks at me with a mischief in the corner of his eyes. When he makes silly faces whilst eating dinner. When I tell him 'no' as he goes for an extension cord and he ponders the meaning of my word, then grabs it anyway. He is a rock star.

He still goes down to sleep really well when he is tired, he doesn't fight it.

He is just beginning to cling to me when I hold him. You know what I mean? Arms wrapped around me so tight.

He LOVES to play with our faces. He sticks his hand in our mouths, grabs our noses, sometimes squeezes to hard and needs a reminder to be gentle.

He is a fairly low maintenance baby- he can play by himself for hours but likes to be entertained as well.

Baby boy at 8.5 months old, You ROCK!

Sunday, January 8, 2012

So...

It is 4:35 am. And I am up. And I am quite sick. The whole house has been sick on and off for the past two weeks, but this week was the worst. I shall fill this first paragraph with complaints about that reality, then, I will hopefully find a lesson. The thing is...this sucks. Big time. One thing that no one warned me about, that I now know is that sickness and mommyhood just doesn't mix. There actually isn't really room for a mom to get sick. And don't get me started on a working mom getting sick. Yesterday, due to my fever and constant vomiting I had to cancel one of the most important meetings of the year. So now, it is January 8th and we have NO second semester calendar for our Youth Ministry program. On top of that, I won't be able to meet to calendar with our Youth Team until the end of January. Throw in the mix a retreat next weekend for my teens, a retreat the following weekend that I am facilitating and a Social Media talk in 2 weeks run by yours truly...to say I am a bit overwhelmed is an understatement. Not to mention the fact that I am 100% certain that the all night lock-in we hosted this week at SJN did absolutely nothing to help the fact that I am sick. And, one last thing, sweet baby boy has basically played by himself on the floor for a week because of all the sickness. I can tell he is craving more time and affection, he is snuggling whenever we hold him. But holding him, these last two days is so hard for me, on account of the constant vomiting, fever and stomach pains. Basically I am a jolly ol' soul.

But, this has got me thinking. Being a mom really does beat the selfishness out of you huh? I kind of hate that part, for I LOVE being selfish and I am really good at it. I love, when I am sick, to lay on a couch/bed all day long and do nothing but focus on getting better. But, you don't really have that option when you are a mom. This reality is hard, but it is also beautiful. I dig the fact that built into this system of procreation is an opportunity to grow in sainthood. The more we die to ourselves and live for others, the more opportunity we have for grace. In life, pre-child...I could just ignore that opportunity. BUT, with the baby, it is impossible. It doesn't matter how sick I am, he still needs snuggles, bottles, feedings, loving words, etc...I am not saying I am perfect at it. I complained a LOT this week (see above paragraph), the fact that I am up at 4:44 am with a fever means I am probably going to complain a LOT today, but I am trying. Another awesome thing is that my husband and I have had to tag-team and work together in whole new ways this week. Sure, we snapped at each other a few times, but for the most part we did really well. I took care of him Mon-Wed, when he was the one running the fever. And, despite his teasing, he has taken really good care of me the past two days. He always reminds me when I am overwhelmed that we are 'Team Wilkerson' and we can do this.

Hopefully, come this week, health will return to our household. I will clean the mess that has been piling up for the past week (you should SEE my family room right now). And then, God willing, I can look back at our first real stint with sickness and child and see the beauty in it. Or, I might just complain:)

Happy Sunday! In theory, our Christmas tree should come down today, but you see how likely that is! Good day!

Saturday, December 31, 2011

2011- A Review

Blessings

There were too many blessings to count this year. Including the birth of our son, (who we kind of like), our family welcomed 3 more babies. Aaron and I have a new god-daughter, who is so dainty and perfect. It is amazing to see how large our immediate brothers/sisters/nieces/nephews are. The house is total chaos when we are all together, and I love it! Another huge blessing was Aaron working out our plan so that I could go part time and just be in charge of high school ministry (see work). We paid off over 20,000 in debt, including one of our cars. Aaron (the husband) is doing an excellent job planning for our future. We got to take the baby on his first vacation and Aaron and I got to get away for our own weekend of Romance. All and all, a pretty incredible year. And, of course, another little one on the way, is pretty much fantastic.

Challenges

With change, comes challenge. Trying to balance being a wife, a mom, a youth minister, a daughter, a sibling and a friend has been way more difficult than I expected. Some areas I have been intentional about, some I have let go. We see these challenges as opportunities to grow and be patient with ourselves. I wish I could be so many things that I am not, wish I could have a few more hours in each day, wish I had my thank you cards done from my baby shower…but alas, I take a deep breath and look towards next year.

Baby

Our kid is literally the love of our life. I knew being a mother would change everything. I didn’t fully anticipate how much loving such an amazing little person would radically effect everything I know. We laugh off when people tell us how cute he is, but let me take this opportunity to say, our kid is really cute. His cheeks are so squeezable. His giggle is infectious. I call him, ‘inspector monchichi’ because he studies things. He studies faces, people, toys, etc…he makes little goals in his mind of things he wants to grab, etc..and makes it happen. He screams in a talking voice that I am trying to quiet and just love. He is not perfect, he gives us a run for our money in terms of fussiness when he is not happy. He is already SUPER stubborn and quick to anger (wonder where he got that from?), but I swear, he gives me his ear –to-ear smile and I am like putty in his hands. Watching him learn to crawl, play on his own, babble, and repeat has been wonderful. Watching him watch his daddy is amazing. He is a ball of joy that has changed every aspect of our lives and we dig it.

Marriage

Marriage is HARD work, but we are getting better at it. Selfless love is a foreign concept in our world and not celebrated by many, so in some ways, we have to learn this behavior. I figure for 29 years I was alone, for 11 of those years I pretty much did what I want, when I wanted…so this has been QUITE the experience for me. I married a patient good man though, and I feel like we get better at it every day. Our fights will always be there (Bickersons anyone?), but we are getting better at not giving in to radical anger and day-long fights. We are getting better at forgiveness and active love. We are getting better at marriage, and I think our kid helps. I married the man that most makes me laugh, and most drives me crazy- and it is obvious in every aspect of our relationship. We got to go away for a weekend and are pretty committed to doing that at least once a year. I truly believe that being in love is the best gift we can give our kids, and so, we work at it!

Work

Work was the biggest surprise of 2011. Turns out, being a CYM is like the most difficult job ever (not really, but kind of) for having young children. I though the flexibility, hours, nights, weekends, lack of daycare, would make it so easy. I was VERY.WRONG. Going to wyd, was the most difficult thing I have ever done in my life. Being away from my child for 2 weeks is something I will NEVER do again. I am learning to ask for help, relying on good adults and good teen leaders. I am going to try in 2012 to figure out how to ‘turn off’ work when I am not at work, stick to 30 hours a week and not to sweat the small stuff. Having a babysitter come to the house for 1 of the work days should make a huge difference. We will continue to evaluate how to balance work and family.

Community /Fellowship

Most of our friendships this year have changed and evolved. We find that the time that we have to give to our friends is precious and we need to use it wisely. We are getting better at picking and choosing what things to be involved in and when we just need a night in. As we go from one child to two, I am sure there will be even further settling of our friendships. We find that those that can be patient with us continue to stay in our lives, but also, that we need to make a better effort to show those that our in our lives how much they mean to us.

Faith

This one has been a challenge. With the craziness of the past couple of years, I find that the discipline I once had in my prayer life has slacked a bit, (a bit being a huge under-exaggeration). I find we do the bare minimum, prayers with the child every night, occasional prayers as a couple, Mass once a week, confession every four months, that is about it. In 2012, one of my major goals is to be discipline about my faith life, but more on that in a future post.

All and all 2011 was good to us! Hope it was fantastic for youJ