Speaking of talks, on Monday night I had the opportunity to present to teenagers the Catholic Church's teaching on homosexuality, and, it went really awesome. If you work with teenagers in anyway (teacher, youth minister, know a youth minister) please, please, please let me give you the resources we use, or even come out and present it for your group (though, see below, things are changin' in regards to that). Through a lot of prayer and thought, I think we have found a great formula that affirms the human person and shows the beauty and reasoning in our Church's teaching. My heart is full every time I think about it.
So, people that occasionally give presentations and maybe work in ministry, I need some advice. I think I need to start being explicit about getting paid a stipend to come out to parishes to present material. SIDENOTE: If you read my blog, and I have done a presentation for you and not received a stipend, that is completely fine, this is a new decision :)
The thing is, each time I do something, it is time away from my family, and it is getting hard to justify. In the past month, I have given 5-6 presentations, which takes up quite a bit of time, and for those presentations, I have received a stipend for 1 of them. The ol' husband has said I need to start asking for payment when asked to do presentations, but I don't know how to do that!??!?! Because, it seems so weird to ask for compensation to do ministry. BUT, if you do the math, 5-6 presentations are 5-6 chunks of time that I am not with my family. AND, that is all good if it in someway benefits my family, but if not, it is hard to justify, even if I love it. So, the question is, when someone says, 'can you come out to my parish to present_____?'. How do I say, 'yes, if get paid'. :) Thanks!
Yikes, this is a 7 Q T full of questions. I have another question for those of you that watch "The Walking Dead". We just started watching it in our household because so many people love it and it is on netflix. Truth be told, it is a FASCINATING show. I love the intensity and I love that I cannot WAIT to watch the next episode. What I do not love is the level of violence. I don't love it at all. And, I wonder if it is good for us to be watching something that has such graphic images of death. I'm not getting judgy judgy, because, like I said, I love the show. I am just having a hard time justify the extreme images of violence. Doesn't really seem to reflect the truth, the good, or the beautiful, you know? So, if you watch, how have you reconciled the images of violence?
I was complimented, on 'the facebook', for my use of the 'oxford comma'. I don't know what that is, I don't really want to know either (for those of you that were about to tell me). The thing is, I know nothing about grammar, and break every rule in the book, the amount of rules I break, in fact, stresses people out. BUT, I got complimented, for writing properly (I think) unintentionally, and I feel real good about that! :)
Tonight, I have a lock in at Church. I detest lock-ins. Like, when I get to heaven, if the person that invented the concept of all night lock-ins for teenagers is there, I am going to ask that he/she be removed before I enter. They are awful. Staying up all night is awful. Honestly, lock-ins were one of the main reasons I knew I had to get out of this youth ministry gig as long as I have small children. Sleep gets out of whack, but I still have babies to attend to the next day. They are just awful. Slow forms of torture. And, lock-ins whilst pregnant and vomiting? Let's just say I need your prayers tonight. A lot, A lot of prayers. The big consolation is, this will be the last lock in I ever have to attend! Woot woot. And, after this lock-in, I have all weekend to recover.
Full disclosure, the husband would be angry if I didn't mentioned that he volunteered to come up and run the lock-in for a few hours, so I could go home and sleep- but, there were too many complications with the childrens, so I declined that offer. Because I declined, he has said I have lost my right to complain all weekend that I had to run an overnight lock-in whilst cookin' a baby. Bummer. I love complaining.
Oh, and just so you know, part II of my NFP thoughts (how NFP ruins romance) will be blogged this week :) The pope and other things distracted me!!!
Oh, and just so you know, part II of my NFP thoughts (how NFP ruins romance) will be blogged this week :) The pope and other things distracted me!!!
Have a great week and join Jen at 7 Quick Takes!
For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!
I don't see a problem with adding a stipend to your talks, as long as it isn't part of what you already get paid to do. If someone asks for your time and it is in your area of expertise, I think it is a valid request. Maybe draft some paperwork or something with an hourly rate, or come up with what you think is a fair amount. Hope it works out!
ReplyDeleteYeah, I don't think it's at all unfair for you to charge a fee! It's one thing if your vocation were as a sister or something but you are a lay person and have a family. Not at all unreasonable. I suppose addressing it depends on how you're asked. Email is best because then you could just work it in there nicely. If someone asks you in person perhaps just "I'd love to! I'm free such and such a date and my fee is ...."
ReplyDeleteAh, lock-ins... So are they a part of your contract or something? I was part of youth groups without lock-ins! The only ones I remember weren't necessarily that edifying and always involved angst and drama...so I'm not a fan of them for that reason. I can't imagine having to do that with little ones to come home to!
I'm surprised people don't give you"a little something" when you give a talk! Phil has done some talks and has gotten gifts for it, unless it's for our parish and he volunteered. I would just out on you're website or however you promote yourself that donations are happily accepted because you are trying to raise a family. If this becomes your job though you would need to discuss a fee. Do you think Jason Everett speaks for free?? Heck no! Maybe just look at those unpaid talks as experience on your speaking resume :-)
ReplyDeleteThis is what you say,
ReplyDelete"Yes, I'd love to do it, and I happen to be available that night. I charge $xxx." Not so bad, right?
Hey, I'm not a youth minister, but my husband is a Catholic missionary, and I am very interested in hearing more about the materials you use to talk about homosexuality with your teens!! That topic holds a special place in my heart (see my blog, its a long story :)...also we are also walking dead fans in this house. I wish I had an answer to your great question, but I will definitely be thinking about it now.
ReplyDelete