Friday, January 28, 2011

My thoughts about parenting advice

DISCLAIMER- This is really not intended for moms with opinions, we all have opinions.  This is intended for moms that go too far, that are mean spirited and judgmental, that tear others down so they can feel superior about their choices....here goes...

This is me, frustrated, with moms:)
So, this morning I read an article on cloth diapers and it was so refreshing.  It was non-judgmental, lovely and gave both sides (pros and cons) of using cloth vs. disposable (thank you Ann Coakley).  If you know me, you know that as of late, my new favorite rant is crazy moms and crazy articles and crazy posts.  I have been SHOCKED at the amount of judgmental moms since finding out I was pregnant.  I always knew they were out there and it used to bother me, but since becoming pregnant, it has more than bothered me.  The other day, at retreat with teens (how appropriate) I started going off about it.  My husband kept asking me if he should go get a soap box for me to stand on.  This morning, I shall use my blog for my soapbox.  If you hate rants, such as this, I wouldn't read this post...

So lets talk about breast feeding, cloth diapers, drugs during labor, circumcision, co-sleeping and all that good stuff...(this will be laced with sarcasm, but remember, it is because I have been 'soap boxing it' for the past month or so)---

Breast Feeding:
Here is the thing, I am going to attempt to do it.  If it works out...GREAT!  I know for sure I will only be able to breast feed for six weeks, but during those six weeks, I will give it a shot.  I am excited to bond with my child in this way and I think it will be awesome to use my body to nourish my child.  So awesome that it is hard to comprehend.  BUT...guess what...if it doesn't work out, if it is too painful, the baby won't latch, etc...etc...I will stop and use formula.  AND, my child will not suffer because of it.  PRACTICALITY does not back up your statistics, crazy-breast-feeding-moms.  I have known plenty of children who are formula fed and they don't get sick every other week, they are not mentally slow, and they are happy babies.  SO...stop trying to make woman feel less than adequate because you have decided to breast feed your child until they are seventeen years old. OH, and if you are breast feeding, cover yourself, its called decency.  It isn't some conspiracy against you.  It is beautiful! You, and your husband should think it is beautiful, but MY husband has a right to feel uncomfortable about your breast hanging out. 

Cloth Diapers
I think you are a super mom if you do it!  One day, in the future, with future children, I might consider it.  BUT, for now, with everything happening for the first time, I am gonna give myself a break and use disposable.  And I am happy with that decision and wish you would stop trying to convince me otherwise in a mean/judgmental way and instead, be like the author of the nice article, trying to show both the positives and negatives.

Drugs during labor
I can't wait:)  I know all of the things that can happen.  I have heard all the horror stories.  I have talked to woman that have had babies without drugs and it seems to be the most enjoyable experience.  I have also talked to woman who have done it both ways and wouldn't even consider labor without drugs.  Regardless, I am not afraid of the 'man' making me take drugs as some conspiracy to strip me of my God-given right to feel labor pains.  If I end up doing it without drugs, awesome!  If I end up so hopped up I can barely recognize my child until two days later...AWESOME!  It's all good my friends.  AND, for those of you that somehow make this a theological argument (based on your OWN thoughts) deciding that labor pains are the price I must pay due to original sin...well, let me just say, you make Jesus sad.

This is where I REALLY got upset.  I am still so upset about this.  To say, write, post, affirm anything that would equate circumcision to mutilation is disgusting. As, I am sure all the nut jobs know, most men have been circumcised  and I know very few that are still feeling the effects of post-traumatic stress syndrome.  If I choose not to circumsize  my child (which would like, NEVER happen)- more power to me.  Lots of people have lots of reasons  to do things.  BUT, the minute you are so insulting as to refer to circumcision as mutilation...you have crossed a line and should really pray about your motivation for saying such things.  It is awful, just awful to use language like that.  And you should be ashamed of yourself.

This one is quite laughable, so I will just say this.  If you want your kid in bed with you until they are 42, more power to you.  I am sure we will co-sleep, or at least have a bassinet in our room while our baby breast feeds simply because it will be more convenient for us.   But shortly after that, he will learn to sleep in his crib.  And as we put him down, there are sure to be nights when he will cry, because he would rather be in bed with us...and we are going to let him cry it out.  And learn that there are times to go to sleep and times to be awake.  And, we are fairly certain he won't be permanently damaged because of crying it out...after all, most of us did just that, and I don't have an regressed memories of the experience.

WHEW- there is more, but for now, I feel better. Thanks blog!

Monday, January 10, 2011

Best. Gift. Ever

First of all, it is important to understand that my husband is very hard to shop for.  Why?  Well, the answer is easy, he is a very simple man.  There are two things, since our marriage, that offer him PERSONAL joy, 1) Father Baron (a syndicated show with a Chicago priest sharing the Faith) and Madden on Playstation 2.  It brings me much delight, that when he has free time and his wife isn't bugging him, he is most likely doing one of those two things...often times late into the night (when his pregnant wife goes to bed at 9:30 pm).  I enjoy that he enjoys these things- and if he has the afternoon off, and I am at work, my question is usually, 'how many games of Madden did you play?'.  What is funny, is that he doesn't really like any other video games/game systems- just his PS II.  He is a simple man.

Even before we got married, I told him I wanted a wii.  That I REALLY wanted a wii.  We always decided we couldn't afford it ,or there was something more important to buy.  In recent months, as everyone and their brother's sister kept getting a wii, my need intensified.  It wouldn't be too strong to say, I even got a little snippy with him about it.  'If YOU wanted a wii, we would have a wii, but because YOU do our budget, YOU have decided that we can't get a wii...and THATS NOT FAAAIIRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!'.  You get the picture.  Just last week, when we decided to cancel our cable, we had the conversation again.  I said we should get a wii, because of the hours of time we could spend together playing, instead of watching tv.  He said no, and I was mad.
On Friday, Aaron said he was 'working on a surprise' in the basement and I was not to go down there.  Now, if you know me, the first thing I would NORMALLY do is go down there, but I thought it would be fun to get surprised, so I exercised self-restraint and did not go see what he was up to.  But I was curious, was he making a dresser for our nursery? organizing pictures that I have in boxes?  I just couldn't figure it out.  And he kept referring to this surprise.

Yesterday, Sunday, was a rough day.  My sweet baby boy likes to lay directly on my bladder.  That, coupled with an extremely dry house that forces me to drink water all through the night, led to a night with almost no sleep.  After, I went to Mass way too early (on no sleep) with teens (who are awesome) and had to leave to throw up :(  I came back at the Eucharistic prayer, sat in the back because I was sick, and practically had to run out to the bathroom to get sick AGAIN during the kiss of peace.  After, we had a seven hour meeting which went really well, because my teens are awesome, but one of the things that we did was calendaring.  On a lack of sleep and being sick, calendaring can be stressful.  I watched any semblance of a social life disappear and felt my stress level rise as I contemplated how I am going to be able to go on maternity leave in the midst of such chaos (including four overnight events- YIKES).  I sent Aaron a message, letting him know I was in a fairly bad place and then got in my car to drive home.  When I got home, Aaron had only started the dishes, and given my mood- I was a bit sassy about it.  Insisting that if he couldn't find the time to start the dishes, I would just do them myself (gosh- I am SUCH a brat).  He came up to me, and asked if we could just say hello first.  I calmed down, and got a smile on my face- and asked for my surprise:)

I know that was a pretty huge build up but to understand the awesomeness of this gift, I want to remember the back story.  Aaron told me to go to Aidan's crib (which he had set up earlier this week- gosh, I am really married to a prince) and in it was a wrapped and heavy present.  I took it out of the crib, totally confused as to what it could be.  I brought it in the family room, took off my shoes, and began to open it.  When I opened it I saw a wii.  Not just the wii, but the wii, wii sportsresort,  mariocart, supermario brothers, and three other games. I gasped and ran right into his arms, fighting back tears for this awesome gift.  BUT WAIT!  It gets better.  We couldn't afford the wii, so how the heck did he make it work.

He went on to say that since Friday he had been online, selling back all his old/my old books- one by one until he reached enough money to buy it.  Well then, i noticed there were two huge boxes of books next to our tv.  Made sense.  I asked him how much he made for them and it didn't add up.  It wasn't enough.  That is when he nonchalantly said that he sold back his psii, all the games and his controller to get enough to buy the games.  Remember, the psii?  Madden?  The thing that my husband plays and enjoys?  Well then I lost it.  I literally could not stop crying.  I was like, 'you have to get it back, you have to get it back'.  He kept laughing at me and told me it was done and he was happy that I could have my wii.

I have never had a gaming system in my life.  Growing up one of six kids, my parents didn't allow us to have one because we fought so much over them.  So, last night as we were playing Mario, I was in HEAVEN. I even kicked his butt at both Wii fencing and 3 point shoot outs:) (though he would have me note that he killed me at table tennis and regular tennis...NERD).

For the last 8-9 years of my life I wondered why I had such a desire to get married and God hadn't shown me my spouse.  Last night was once again a reminder, I had to wait.  So that I could have a man like Aaron:)  Our Scripture verse for our wedding spoke of 'out doing one another in kindness'.   My husband constantly goes above and beyond to show me his love.  Which is why, Aidan and I are the luckiest cats alive:)

Happy Monday!  I am going to go play my wii now:)