Talk to Me Tuesday...Body Image Edition

I have something to tell you.  I have never really struggled with body image.  That’s a true story.  It might confuse some of you who know me, because I have never been…how you say, ‘thin’ or the ‘standard of beauty’.  But, although there have been times in my life when I have desired to be healthier, or had to lose a bit of weight for one reason or another…body image is never something that has stopped me in my tracks.  I don’t buy into most popular standards of beauty, and although we all have things about ourselves we’d like to change, it’s not something I used to stress over.  For me, a bangin’ body is a solid size 12, and 160 pounds…which I know would probably terrify more than one of you who read this blog.  Beauty is so subjective, so I have never really wasted a lot of time on worrying I wasn't fitting into a standard.

Until Now.

Turns out, having three kids in three years changes one’s body in lots of ways.  Obviously, there is weight gain.  It’s been hard to get any ‘pregnancy’ weight off…because I keep gettin’ pregnant J  But it’s not just that.  It’s the shifting of the body, I can’t handle.  Too much weight in certain places, not enough weight in other places.  It’s the stretch marks and weird skin gatherings.  It’s the scars.  It’s the clothes fitting in some places and not others. It's having to buy clothes that settle awkwardly on this new body of mine.  It’s all that and more.

And the thing is, it’s actually kind of ‘freezing’ me in some ways.  My desire to get fit or eat right is being compromised by the voice in my head that is telling me how good I don’t look.  For the first time, and this is where it gets real, about a month ago, I told Big Aaron to stop looking at me, with tears in my eyes, because I felt embarrassed about what he saw {Sidenote- Aaron has NEVER made me feel that way}.  Sometimes, like this morning, when we are snuggling, all I can think about is the ways that I don’t like my body instead of enjoying extra hugs from my husband.

I don’t say this seeking a bunch of affirmation, I promise. I say it, because from what I hear on the street, body image issues are something a lot of women struggle with.  And some men too.  I am sure some of you have found good and healthy ways to respond when those ugly voices start gnawing at you. I am not, in this post, looking for suggestions on how to lose weight, live healthy, etc… The thing is, I have this sneaky suspicion that even when I get my size 12 bangin’ body back, scars will still be there, body shifts will still be there, etc… these kids have changed my body in some ways I don’t totally love, and no amount of weight loss is gonna change that. 

So...

                                                                                             

TALK TO ME

What do YOU do when you struggle with body image?  When you are constantly aware of your imperfections?  When the way your body has changed, kind of bums you out?  What things do you read?  What things do you say to yourself?  Do you talk to God about it?  How can I manage some of the new insecurities this ‘new norm’ in terms of body have brought me?

TALK TO ME!