Saturday, November 23, 2013

The gift...

...of brothers.
I have written about this before.  So first, my disclaimer.
I understand that many people feel the pain of infertility and posts like this are painful.  Please know, causing any pain to that reality is not my intention. I also know there are people who would like nothing more than to have siblings or give their children siblings and that hasn't happened.  The great news is, I have discovered, 'brothers and sisters don't always have to be blood'.

That being said...
I honestly think one of the MOST beautiful things you can do for your children, if you are able, is to give them siblings.  And, I know this is crazy town, but if you are able, having them close in age, even as close as we have chosen, is something I HIGHLY recommend.  I am AMAZED at how many diapers I change on the regular. I am OVERWHELMED by the amount of laundry that is necessary in this household.  But the moments that take my breath away make it all worth it.  Moments like these...

Yesterday, while feeding John Paul it became very obvious that Joey needed a diaper change. I had a tough call to make. I could wait on it, but then, it could turn into a disaster of mess and stress that I just didn't need. Or, I could stop feeding the baby half way through and go handle it.  As any mom knows, stopping a feeding half way through is never a good idea.  The ear piercing screams that usually result are impossible to ignore.  And yet, I discerned the mess that could come from Joey would be worth the screams. As I raced to change Joey's diaper, John Paul started with the blood curdling screams.  But the next moment was perhaps one of my proudest points of parenting yet.  Without being asked, Lil' A raced across the room, grabbed the bottle and began feeding John Paul.  I had to remind him to keep holding the bottle up, but John Paul was getting his fill.  As soon as I finished with the diaper change, I made my way back to JP and lil' A said, 'you do it mama'.  He wasn't feeding him because he wanted to, he was feeding him because he knew JP needed it.  le sigh...

I have moments like that all the time.

...Aaron bringing Joey his bear when he is crying after a fall
...Joey giving John Paul sweet kisses in the morning
...John Paul already looking up at his brothers with such admiration
...Aaron giving the babies his cars to play with  (when he is not freaking the freak when Joey takes them)
...Joey always wanting to sit next to his big brother when we watch a show
...Aaron telling both boys 'it's okay, mommy's got you' when they start crying

Watching these kids learn to love each other deeply, learn to protect each other, learn to play together and comfort each other is honestly the coolest thing (besides the saint making part) that I get to be a part of.

And I thank God for it.

The voices are few, but unforgettable.  The voices of people who are shocked and even disgusted that we would choose to have babies so close in age.  I just wish I could give them a glimpse into this crazy town and they would understand.

If you are considering a second, third, fourth child and you aren't sure you can do it.  Or you are worried about the work.  Or worried you won't have enough love for all of them.  Let me assure you, it will be harder work than you have ever experienced.  BUT, at the same time, you will be stunned by the ability your family has to grow in love.

 Now, some pictures to illustrate the awesome.

Meeting the third for the first time

They love to be near each other

This is how they prefer to sit...

Learning to feed his baby brother

Aaron likes to be swaddled like his brother

Given the choice, they always sit right next to each other

Brother's play

JUST STOP IT!!! I can't handle all the cute.

"Here brother, play with my cars"

Saturday mornings at the ol' house...


  1. awwwww.... love the swaddling pic of them. my 2 youngest still both want to be swaddled for fun after bath time and sit like that as well.

  2. Yes yes and hell yes! Mary, YOU get it and that is why I love your blog. You know my situation so you already know how I feel. I love seeing the interaction and the compassion they have for their special needs sister. Some folks think families like ours are ridic but that's ok.