(Note- these are my thoughts and experiences...hopefully this will help you understand me better!)
Hi, my name is Mary and I am about to undergo my third c-section...
God never ‘intended’ childbirth to be a painful experience. The pain of childbirth (unless you want to correct me) is a direct result of sin (lil’ Theology up in here). God is so good, that he allows us to turn pain into something beautiful for his kingdom. Whether or not we are laboring naturally with our children, or we are recovering from a major surgery, we glorify God through the pain we undergo for the sake of our children :)
God does ‘intend’ us to be open to life and children. He likes when we are born. He likes to be present when our children are coming into the world. He gives us helpers, prayer partners, and wonderful people to aid us. For some, that might look like a husband holding a woman up in a birthing tub in a family room. For others, it might mean a room full of doctors and nurses, communicating with each other and you to ensure a safe delivery. Each of these people are gifts. Each of them equally given to us to aid in the process of our children greeting the world.
C-sections hurt. A lot, after. :) And recovery takes longer than most people know because after a couple of weeks, us c-section mamas just walk around with dull to medium pain, only our husbands know about.
C-section moms generally, ‘know what they are getting themselves into’. They are aware of the facts, they have read the articles. They understand the risks and weigh them against the benefits. In the case of my first son, he was big. I know lots of people that labor big babies just fine. He also had a huge shoulder span, which was the concern. When I was being operated on, all the doctors agreed I wouldn’t have been able to have a natural birth with him. He was really big, and super cute.
C-section moms bond with their babies immediately. Well, at least in my case. I was so paranoid, because everyone had said they would take my baby away from me. It didn’t happen. Didn’t happen with Lil’ A, didn’t happen with Joey. Both boys stayed by my side the entire time. It IS true, I could not do skin to skin for about 30 minutes with Aaron and 40 minutes with Joey. I still feel incredibly bonded to my children and do not think that time lapse kept me from experiencing the beautiful reality of my children
C-section moms do not all have problems with breast feeding. Nursing came really easy to me, with both boys. Immediate latch, good flow, if anything WAY too much milk.
C-section moms generally trust their doctors or find different ones. We choose our doctor based on their schooling, their experience, their attitude and their respect toward us. I definitely trust my doctor more than your second cousin who is a Doula or your fantastic Mid-wife who told you that I should try for a vbac, even after two c-sections. I respect both Doulas and Midwives for a crud ton of reasons, I think they are fantastic advocates for women. I trust my doctor.
C-section moms think the best sound in the world is their child’s first cry. So do natural mamas. Who knew how good that sound is?
C-section moms couldn't do it without help. The first two weeks are rough. I actually could not take care of my child in the first couple weeks if it wasn't for my husband. He does everything. Brings me the baby, takes care of the other babies, cooks, laundry, etc…It is very VERY hard to be the dad of a c-section baby, because you pretty much need to do EVERYTHING. Everyone gives the mom credit and thinks the babies are fantastically cute. No one fully gets how much the dad does. I fall more in love with Aaron over the two recovery weeks than any other time. Being able to witness his selflessness is amazing.
C-sections are scary shiznatch. So is natural child birth. Going into a scheduled c-section, I have found to be quite frightening, because I know all that will happen. I know the pain, I know the recovery, I know the risks and that is all very very scary. So, this c-section mama will ask you to keep her in your prayers in the next week or so :)