I knew all-day Kindergarten was going to be hard for me. Like, real hard. The all day thing has bothered me practically since he was born. I completely understand all-day kindergarten makes sense for full time working parents, but man, I'm just not ready for it. Aaron is completely psyched though. Aaron is totally excited. Aaron has a countdown next to his bed because he cannot wait. He met his teachers, picked out his backpack, and is asking me daily about when he gets to go. And I'm sick to my stomach about it.
The years with just me went by waaaaaaaay too quick.
Strangers will be with him during the day more than I will.
He's not a baby anymore, and although the baby years are hard... I know the complicated reality of raising children in today's culture is just beginning.
So here's how we are coping.
On Saturday, I was downstairs with all three boys. We were talking about school and how much I am going to miss them (Joseph is starting Pre-K), but how happy I am for them. It made me think of the song below.
(trigger warning... if you have children growing up and you are melancholy about that, click with care)
I decided to play the freaking song, while snuggling with my three boys.
I, of course, got teary eye'd. But I was holding it together.
Then the husband comes downstairs. He saw I was upset.
"What's wrong?"
Innocent question...
So I start explaining how sad I am that Aaron is going to all day kindergarten, and how sad I am that Joey is going to preschool. And then it starts, the ugly cry... "IT'S ALL GOING TOO FAST, I'M JUST GOING TO MISS THEM SO MUCH"...
Because I am so selfish, I didn't even consider my three boys watching me ugly cry. All of a sudden little Aaron puts his face down, and within five seconds he is in hysterics...
"I DON'T WANT TO LEAVE YOU MOMMY!!!"
inconsolable.
I wiped my tears, calmed down, but sweet little Aaron was beyond comfort. We let him cry it out with his whole heart and then, to get him to stop (my ears were hurting), I finally told him if he didn't want to go to kindergarten he didn't have to.
<<<Before you judge me too hard core, realize he dried his eyes and five minutes later I asked him if he would go to school and he said, "Yes, I am excited">>>
The moral of the story?
Next Monday is the first day of school, and I am not going to do well, you can feel free to pray :)
Or give me advice, but I don't think advice will stop this heartache :(
It just goes too fast.
There probably isn't going to be much to help you that first day - It is SOOOO hard. I really worried over how my little guy could go 7 hours without me - going to the bathroom (and I never thought to show him a urinal before that day!), getting his clothes adjusted, handling lunch trays, not getting a nap... On and on.
ReplyDeleteWe weathered that first year. The first few weeks were hard for me, he was exhausted, but it all went really well, and he really liked school!
I will say, I was NOT pleased when he came home singing lyrics to songs that he heard on the playground from music I did not play! (Although cute that he thought Moves like Jagger was called Move my Dragon!)
Oh my gosh, yes! I was totally the parent that stayed after during orientation to ask how my kid who always naps or rests is going to cope with neither. The teacher was like, 'it's probably going to be a rough first few weeks'. He is so excited, and that's the thing that makes it possible, but man- it's just so sad how many moments I am going to miss. I completely understand why homeschool moms often decide in these first few years of school to bring them back home!!!! Alas, I am VERY not called to that, so I need ot suck it up :)
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