Sunday, January 8, 2012


It is 4:35 am. And I am up. And I am quite sick.  The whole house has been sick on and off for the past two weeks, but this week was the worst.  I shall fill this first paragraph with complaints about that reality, then, I will hopefully find a lesson.  The thing is...this sucks.  Big time. One thing that no one warned me about, that I now know is that sickness and mommyhood just doesn't mix.  There actually isn't really room for a mom to get sick.  And don't get me started on a working mom getting sick.  Yesterday, due to my fever and constant vomiting I had to cancel one of the most important meetings of the year.  So now, it is January 8th and we have NO second semester calendar for our Youth Ministry program.  On top of that, I won't be able to meet to calendar with our Youth Team until the end of January.  Throw in the mix a retreat next weekend for my teens, a retreat the following weekend that I am facilitating and a Social Media talk in 2 weeks run by yours truly...to say I am a bit overwhelmed is an understatement.  Not to mention the fact that I am 100% certain that the all night lock-in we hosted this week at SJN did absolutely nothing to help the fact that I am sick.  And, one last thing, sweet baby boy has basically played by himself on the floor for a week because of all the sickness.  I can tell he is craving more time and affection, he is snuggling whenever we hold him.  But holding him, these last two days is so hard for me, on account of the constant vomiting, fever and stomach pains.  Basically I am a jolly ol' soul.

But, this has got me thinking.  Being a mom really does beat the selfishness out of you huh?  I kind of hate that part, for I LOVE being selfish and I am really good at it.  I love, when I am sick, to lay on a couch/bed all day long and do nothing but focus on getting better.  But, you don't really have that option when you are a mom.  This reality is hard, but it is also beautiful. I dig the fact that built into this system of procreation is an opportunity to grow in sainthood.  The more we die to ourselves and live for others, the more opportunity we have for grace. In life,  pre-child...I could just ignore that opportunity.  BUT, with the baby, it is impossible.  It doesn't matter how sick I am, he still needs snuggles, bottles, feedings, loving words, etc...I am not saying I am perfect at it.  I complained a LOT this week (see above paragraph), the fact that I am up at 4:44 am with a fever means I am probably going to complain a LOT today, but I am trying.  Another awesome thing is that  my husband and I have had to tag-team and work together in whole new ways this week.  Sure, we snapped at each other a few times, but for the most part we did really well. I took care of him Mon-Wed, when he was the one running the fever.  And, despite his teasing, he has taken really good care of me the past two days.  He always reminds me when I am overwhelmed that we are 'Team Wilkerson' and we can do this.

Hopefully, come this week, health will return to our household. I will clean the mess that has been piling up for the past week (you should SEE my family room right now).  And then, God willing, I can look back at our first real stint with sickness and child and see the beauty in it.  Or, I might just complain:)

Happy Sunday!  In theory, our Christmas tree should come down today, but you see how likely that is!  Good day!


  1. Looks like you all had what I did! I am so sorry but, now you know why I was a big, fat baby. I wish I could steal baby Aaron from you. Remember, that all of this will actually help aarons independence...lil Aaron not big Aaron. Love you sissy

  2. I'm sorry you are so sick and your baby is lacking attention, BUT! THERE IS A BRIGHT SIDE! Soon the baby will have a sibling with whom he can get into all kinds of trouble, fights and destructiveness. Just imagine what that will be like when you and Aaron get sick! He won't be lonely anymore!

    It does suck, but if you can just laugh at how ridiculous life is, and how it has a way of showing you how to prioritize whether you like it or not, you'll be okay. A week off work at a really inconvenient time will probably not even register in 2 years. This is what I keep telling myself about this horrendous non-threatening, yet totally uncomfortable pregnancy. There will be bigger problems, there will be bigger problems, there will be bigger problems. AAAAAHHHHH!