Sunday, November 30, 2014


"America, black children don't get to be children"
That was on my husband's friend's newsfeed this morning. Like, for real.  He hasn't met my half black children, I can assure you.  Their childhood is good so far, thanks for asking.  But, the things going on in this country have serious consequences to my children, my husband and my family.  
And I am mad.

So, apparently people are protesting in Detroit (peacefully, thankfully).  And yesterday, I think, a walk started from Ferguson to the capital of Missouri.  Fancy eh?  Protests, protests, talking heads, sounding boards, soapboxes and megaphones. 

So there’s that.

Here are my thoughts. I have been thinking them all week.  I am mad.  And I can tell you right now, some of you aren’t going to like it, so stop reading. And it’s long, and I don’t care. It was therapeutic to write. And I am furious.

I am so thankful that in a time long, long ago, our forefathers decided the way to decide certain things would be juries comprised of peers vs. public opinion. I am so thankful, at least for the time being, we live in a country where facts matter and facts protect innocent people. I say at least for the time being, because if the movements of the public/media reaction/the leadership of our President, etc… have anything to do with it, that might be a quickly dying reality.  But, for now, I am thankful to live in a country that has a process ensuring the closest thing to justice possible, despite the desperate attempts of evil men/women to deny that process.  #truth

I have three half black babies and a black husband.  Do you know how often, we, as a family, experience racism?  RARELY.  But when we do, it’s almost always from people who think they are working to eliminate it.  As an example, I have an extended family member (or acquaintance) who NEVER talked to me. Like, for 20 years.  Then, one day, I began dating an African American man…and wouldn’t you know that particular family member was all up in my koolaid like none other.  So very proud of me for deny society standards and choosing to do something so courageous as to date a black man and bring him around my family.  Guess what, it’s 2014 and it’s not that courageous.  The narrative people like that family member are telling had a place 60 years ago.  Today, it doesn’t.  In fact, today it perpetuates lies about race relations that people believe…and by believing, make the world more unsafe for my family.

Speaking of liars. I’d like to thank them.  Each liar who has helped tell the story of poor Michael Brown, shot in the back by officer whitey mcwhiterson.  Michael Brown, whose only crime was that he was black and a young man.  If you believe the lies (including those of Mr. President) and spread the lies…I’d like to thank you for making the world a little more unsafe for my husband and my half black children.  Every single person who in any way,  whether verbally, or on social media, or in written word, perpetuated the LIE that Michael Brown was shot while on his knees, hands up, screaming ‘don’t shoot’ (or any variation of that lie)…I’d like to thank you.  Because of your lies, for the first time EVER when I went out with my children to Target in our mixed community, I felt scared.  For the first time EVER with my half black children, I wondered what people were thinking, and if we were safe. A few nights ago, I was out with my husband and friends, at a predominately black bar- and felt the tension crawling up my back.  Along with thanking you, I’d like to ask you to get out of my life.  If you are willing to lie about situations, or, even worse (and we will get to it later) USE a lie to make the world more dangerous for myself, my husband or my children…I don’t want you in my life. I don’t want you connecting to me and, I don’t want to dialogue with you.  Do I sound angry?  I am.  More angry than I have been about any National situation in my lifetime. I am furious.  Furious at the liars who set this country back in dialogue about race.

For those of you curious, my husband wrote THIS AWESOME BLOG the other day. I was so proud of him. On Monday night as I saw liar after liar on the news- as I saw our President shift the focus off the liars and onto the men and women who serve society every day as members of the police forces…I wondered if my husband was going to write a blog.  You see, on his social media newsfeed are the type of crazies who are hard to write about.  The type that would accuse, black men like my husband. of betraying their race for REFUSING to enter into a dialogue based on a lie.  His newsfeed had people who posted crazy things- the type of things I’d love to copy/paste but I’m not gonna out of respect for him.  You see, for my husband to speak TRUTHFULLY about the situation in Ferguson isn't welcomed- and because he chose to do so, his very identity as a black man is called into question.  What kind of a freaking sh$$ storm have we created for ourselves when THAT is our reality?  My husband is a courageous man, exploring true justice and equality but to do some comes at a risk.  He’s willing to take it, and for that, I am so very proud.

To you activists. I’d ask you to pick an issue.  You see, Ferguson was supposed to be about how very dangerous it is to be a young black man…because cops come looking to shoot you if you are young and black.  If they can get you unarmed, well that’s an added bonus.  But then, this tricky thing happened- You know, where the facts proved that Ferguson had nothing to do with an innocent black man getting gunned down by officer whitey mcwhiterson- but rather, it was a story of a criminal tragically losing his life because he twice charged at a police officer and one of those times tried to take his gun.  So, about ½ of the liars, the ones who are intelligent, realized they couldn’t have it be about that storyline anymore, so they had to pick a new one.  Because now all the drama is happening, there has to be cause right? In the last four days, I have seen such ridiculous crap written, filmed and shared, by you fancy activists.  If it can’t be about poor Michael Brown, arms up in surrender being shot, let’s make it about something else.  Police Brutality, the wider picture of unfair realities for black men/women, etc… Today, I kid you not, I saw shared on facebook the storyline that the problem is black cops who get found in these situations like Ferguson have to face trials, while white cops don’t. OH MY GOSH DON’T YOU EVER GET FREAKING TIRED OF YOURSELVES?!?!?!?  If you want to have an issue, if you want to explore these things, LET’S DO IT.  BUT, in order to do it, you cannot START with a lie.  And the story in Ferguson STARTED with a lie. In order to have these conversations you cannot DESTROY THE LIFE OF AN INNOCENT POLICE OFFICER.  In order to have these conversations, my activist friends, it might BEHOOVE you to apologize for taking advantage of a tragic situation, making it something it wasn’t, and then escalating it to the level of a national tragedy.  I want to end this take by calling you a name, but I won’t, because I am mature.

Oh and I wanted to talk to you about making people victims.  And how, if you do that, you can pretty much control them.  Because you make them feel small.  Small, and unable to handle life on their own, but you also make them ANGRY, so you can do anything with them.  Making people think they are victims is an incredibly powerful tool. Like, legit, through history it has been used in really amazing ways.  So, I mean, IMAGINE, what you can do if you make a particular race- the slight majority even, think they are victims…think of what you can do with that? Think how long you could hold a people down with that?  Think how much progress you could halt?  How much good you could turn evil.  MAN that’d be pretty amazing- good thing we don’t know anything about convincing people that they are victims. Right AMERICA? I mean AM I RIGHT?!?!?!?

Oh. I wanna tell you one more thing.   A couple months ago, I was watching/entering in on a facebook discussion/debacle.  When the posting author knew she couldn't defend her thoughts, her response was, ‘I guess we just feel differently, I respect your opinion, you must respect mine’.  That’d be all good and lovely…except her opinion was FACTUALLY and OBVIOUSLY wrong.  And yet, she felt quite comfortable stating, ‘we just feel different about this and both of our opinions are valid’.  NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Your opinions are not valid.  You CANNOT LIE and then say, ‘we just feel differently’.  BUT, what’s terrifying, is the heresy of relative truth has become so prevalent – that truth doesn’t matter.  When did the people start freaking the freak in Ferguson?!?!  Before the actual statement was read.  For real America?!?!? You can do better.

And those are the thoughts I have on the debacle that was Ferguson.


  1. I love you, I love this, and...did I mention I love you? I read your husbands post back when you linked it on your blog and I loved that too!! I'm not a stalker- I just like to think I have some common sense in a time when SO many seem to have misplaced theirs. It is beyond refreshing to read something now that is not littered with lies or agenda. May you guys find a way to wade through all of this nonsense with as little frustration as possible... I know I'm sure trying to!

  2. I have not been following all this stuff closely but I really really enjoy reading your thoughts on it all. I just keep thinking how insanely stupid it is to create far more chaos and violence in the false name of peace and tolerance. It's got to be crazy now that this kind of stuff affects you so intimately. I hope and pray your family continues to be an awesome witness of reality and truth.

  3. wow.
    just. wow.

    I am sure I will have more thoughts, but for now, yours are fabulous - thank you

  4. The whole thing bugs me too. I can't believe the lies that are being spread about what actually happened. I've been called out for not acting black enough in the past and it really bothers me that I have to prove my ethnicity because I don't agree with the things that black people should be in agreement on. Sigh. Anyway you know I agree with you on this.