Tuesday, October 18, 2011


My husband and I drove down to Detroit yesterday to look at the ‘Occupy Detroiters’.  Which, btw, is actually quite funny in Detroit, because really, who are you raging against (so as not to offend, I get that some of the occupiers are raging against the man for well-meaning reasons)? That being said, I do have respect for their tent city, it reminded me of WYD and a youth event we have here called the ‘Homeless Experience’.  BUT, that isn’t what I wanted to write about.  After, we went to this famous Detroit BBQ place called ‘Slows’ and got carry out.  Whilst waiting, our child decided to number 2 it in the restaurant.  So, obviously we both fought about who had to hold him until we left (Aaron lost and had to hold him because he wouldn’t go get the diaper bag).  BUT, that isn’t what I wanted to write about.  When in the car, about to drive home, Aaron (Big) took a huge sniff and said, ‘AHHH….it smells like poop and pork in here’.  And I thought to myself, ‘being a parent is weird’.  That is what I wanted to write about.
If you have been reading this blog (btw- I dig the creepers who read it) you know one thing I am majorly struggling with is being a part-time stay at home mom vs. a full time stay at home mom.  I didn’t realize how hard it would be, and I would just love to hang with the child all the time (never fear teens, you are stuck with me).  For instance, last night was the last night this week that I will be able to tuck my baby in bed at night, and that, my friends, is garbage.  BUT, I am starting to be able to figure out what is really bothering me.  You see, my mom was a stay-at-home mom, so that is all I have ever known.  Because of that, I am judging myself by a standard that was NEVER my reality; it was my mom’s reality.  Let me explain…When I was in college one of the most insightful things a professor said to us bright-eye’d-know-it-all neo conservatives was, ‘You can’t talk about longing for the days pre-Vatican II because NONE of you were born, you don’t even know those days’.  So, I apply that here.  I keep longing to be a stay-at-home mom, but the deal was, that is not my reality.  It is not like I am wishing for something I once had. What I have is this incredible life, where I get to work, pay off debt, experience a radical type of teamwork with my husband and give my kid a pretty cool life with lots of people that love him.  That is the reality that has been handed to me, and although it has its drawbacks, I need to start to accept it.  And live it cheerfully (which btw- I think, for the most part I do, accept with the husband).  I am going to try to apply that, but on weeks like this, with no tuck-ins, it is still hard.
My husband’s reflection on Ron Paul, ‘He’s like the brilliant grandfather that no one listens to, but is actually quite logical’. LOL.  I am SO glad that I married my husband as we walk through this political season.

1 comment:

  1. Being a SAHM has its drawbacks and being the Working mom has its drawbacks. Welcome to being grown up and responsible for another person. It sucks.

    and rocks.

    and means you will never look "just right" again because there will be crusty snot somewhere on your clothes where your son rubbed his face.