Friday, October 7, 2011

The other day...

...I met Aaron at his work for lunch.  This is NOT a regular occurrence because Aaron works forty minutes from our house.  By the time I pack up the baby, get there, eat and drive home, it is a three hour adventure.   A three hour adventure that I don’t really want to take on my day off, especially on a week where things aren’t going as smoothly as one would like.  Any hooter, when I finally got there- Aaron jumps in the car and we drive to go meet some of our friends. After a bit of small talk, he mentions that I am not wearing make-up.  Now, this might seem like an innocent comment. 
What Aaron didn’t realize is in the morning I was super frazzled trying to get ready.  I literally couldn’t find ANYTHING in my closet that still fit (um, post baby body is NOT working for me, especially because I can’t seem to find the time to get in shape/eat right, but that is another post). And so I burst into hysterics.  I was dressed in dirty jeans, a stained t-shirt, my hair in a ponytail and no makeup.  WHAT WAS I THINKING!?!?!  Aaron insisted that he was just kidding and only making the comment because I usually do wear make-up when we meet up.
I calmed down enough to enjoy lunch with him and a couple of our friends.  On the looong ride home, I pondered how I thought it was acceptable to go out of the house looking like that.  You should know, I have never been ‘put together’ but I do try to look halfway normal when meeting my husband.  A year ago, I would have straightened my hair, put on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, added make up and a smile.  Now, I show up looking like a hot mess. I started to think of concerns I have about being a good wife to my husband, to ‘keep him interested’ etc…I thought about how easy it is to ‘let yourself slide’ when you are working/mommy-ing/wife-ing etc…I thought about the importance of taking care of myself and made one more commitment that I would start healthy living tomorrow…
A few hours later, I shared all these thoughts with my husband.  And, once again, he responded in the best way ever, ‘Dear, you know I am not THAT guy’.  My husband isn’t the guy that gives me a hard time about my dress, my weight, etc…those are pressures I put on myself.
 My husband is the guy that makes me feel pretty, even though I am sometimes not.  He is the guy that makes me feel womanly, even though I have always been a bit of a tom-boy.  He is the guy that thinks I am a great mom and makes sure to thank me for making his lunch every day.  My husband is truly not THAT guy.  Then, I thought about all the teenage women I work for.  How I desperately want them to find guys that aren’t ‘THAT GUY’.  How so many of them will settle for less because they think it is all they deserve.  It bums me out that they will allow themselves to feel less than beautiful in the eyes of a man, simply because they don’t’ have the patience to wait it out, or society tells them they should.  So many of the young women I work with will not know what it is like to be loved by a guy like Aaron because so many of them won’t wait for it and won’t demand it from the men they will date.  WHAT A BUMMER! 
Then, I thought about this.  It is PRECISIOUSLY because my guy is not THAT guy, that I should make an effort to look beautiful for him.  It is PRECIOUSLY because he doesn’t expect it, that occasionally I should wear my hair down like he likes, and make him a good home-cooked meal.  It is PRECIOUSLY because he is NOT that guy that I should strive everyday to make sure my love for him is sincere and that I am outdoing him kindness.  I have so far to go, but maybe par t of the equation is recognizing it! 
Peace be upon your weekend!   Thank God for the gifts around youJ

1 comment:

  1. Great reminder, Mary! Thanks. Love Lil' A's Curious George hat. George is Christian's "best friend"!