Man! This is hard!!!

Being a mom is hard work. I know, DUH.  But these last couple weeks, time and time again, what I keep thinking is, ‘My gosh, this is really hard!’ 

Maybe it has to do with this being my second week as an official Stay at Home Mom. I am so excited about this new role…not because it will be ‘easier’ than working mind you, but because it is a calling I feel deep within my heart.  But man, it is hard. 

It is hard to keep the house clean.  I am really striving to have the kitchen/family room clean by the time Aaron comes home at 5:30.  But, that is like, impossible with two little kids and a smaller space.

Don't be fooled by the size, this lady's got 2.5 more months to go!

It is hard to constantly reach up and down to pick stuff up.  This might have to do with a massive stomach, which appears to be 

housing a child of nine months, but is actually housing a child of seven months. 

It is hard to use nap time to get things done, when I really just want to take a nap myself.  Sleeping, for those of you who have been paying attention, is very difficult for me these days.  So, at around 2:00 pm, when the boys go down for their afternoon nap, I barely have energy to do anything but shut my eyes…but, alas, much needs to get done. 

It is hard to ignore the constant whining.  Om lowercase g, my little Joseph has decided to show his personality in a huge way the past month or so.  And, SPOILER ALERT, his personality is ornery.  Constantly ornery.  I cannot tell you how many times we have said in the last couple weeks, ‘thank God for that kid’s smile, or we would totally be returning him’!

It’s hard not to lose patience.  I decided to be a rock star mom (which is ALWAYS dangerous) and bought a couple of tubs for ‘sensory time’.  One filled with rice, and one filled with water.  I was so cool I even bought scoopers and measuring cups for each.  Best. Mom.Ever right?  That is, until lil’ A decided it was WAY more fun to dump the rice on the floor than in the CLEARLY marked bucket.  I may have yelled at him and made him cry for that one!  SCORE!!!  Rock-star mom move down the drain.

Oh yeah, and it’s hot.  And this pregnant mom hates hot.

But, you know what else I am realizing?  Being a mom is also awesome. And it is the moments of awesome get you through the moments of, ‘oh my gosh, no one told me how hard this is’!

It’s awesome at the end of naptime.  My first thought is, ‘oh shiznatch, he’s up already’ but then 9 times out of 10, I walk into the room of one of my boys smiling the biggest smiles in the world.  The way my kid’s face lights up when he sees me…it’s priceless.

It’s awesome when we are leaving the house and lil’ A has his cars lined up.  He goes up to them and says, ‘bye cars’ before we leave.  But, then, wait for it…when we get back, he says, ‘Hi Cars’! Watching him learn to play is like watching wonder come to life.  It’s so fantastic.

It’s awesome when I get to watch my children play together.  Joseph Michael follows Aaron around from room to room.  He loves when his brother pays attention to him.  Today, Joseph woke up before lil’ A, but they both needed to be up. So, I just brought him into his big brother’s room and put him into the crib to wake Aaron up.  I left the room and after a few minutes, heard them laughing.  How freaking cool is that?

It’s awesome to do little projects, like sensory tables.  The rice was a total debacle, but…I ended up letting them play with their water bucket after.  The kitchen looked like a pool, but when daddy got home and walked in the kitchen, I heard Aaron say, ‘look, water play’!   Rock star mom might have had a bump or two, but it seems lil’ A only remembered to tell daddy about the good stuff.

And, it is AWESOME when I get the spontaneous hugs and kisses throughout the day.  When lil’ A is laying in his crib and says, ‘MOM’.  Or when I call his name and he says, ‘What’?  Watching these kids grow in love and affection is fantastic.

So, I guess the thing I am learning is being a mom is really really tough.  And I am very VERY far from being good at it.  BUT, the little freaks are well worth the struggle.  And being their mom is by far the coolest thing I have ever done.  So, I just gotta remember to focus more on the awesome and less on the overwhelming urge to throw up my hands and say, ‘It’s too hard’!  Because each day I get to work on not screwing this mom thing up, is a privilege and a honor.  Love you boys.