TO MY SON...

...ON THE EVE OF YOUR FIRST BIRTHDAY

Dear Sweet Baby Boy Aaron-

The day you were born is the day that my life changed forever.  Driving to the hospital, I was so nervous.  Not nervous about being a mom, I knew that was what I was made for, but nervous about the surgery.  I remember, when they took me into the operating room, and I was staring up at this big surgery light, and there were SO many doctors and nurses there.  It was total chaos.  I was throwing up (which shouldn't be a surprise, you made me throw up the whole time you were in me) and it was so scary and crazy and quick...and then I heard it, the sound of your cry.  The best sound I have ever heard in my life sweet baby boy and the best sound I am sure I will ever hear.  Your daddy brought you to me and held you up so I could see you. It would be about a half an hour before I could hold you, but once I did, I fell in complete and total love.  Just like that, just like they say, my whole life was different. Both sets of your grandparents came to see you shortly after you were born, and my mom (busie) kept saying that she had never ever seen a mother look at her son as much as I did.

Honey, I was obsessed with you.  For the first few days, I didn't want to sleep, because all I wanted to do was hold you.  I remember, the first night, it was around four am and you and I watched John Paul II get beatified.  You had hiccups and just sat in my lap, staring into my face.  You were absolutely perfect.  Perfect rosy cheeks.  Perfect little lips.  And because you were so HUGE, you looked like such a little man.  I loved feeding you, and looking at you. I loved taking you to our little house in Redford and knowing this was the place that you would grow up.  In your first few weeks as a newborn you would stare so intently at everyone and everything.  Just staring, trying to discover the world.  I call you inspector chi-chi because you like to inspect the world.  You are my little monchichi.  I call you that because when you were born, you had a hairy back/arms and the cutest little face.  You reminded me of cartoon characters on a show called 'The Monchichis'.  For the first year of your life, I have sung you, 'way up in the trees live the monchichis' almost every day.

This first year has been incredible.  I have delighted in every single one of your firsts.  Your first smile, your first bottle, your first bath, your first time eating food, rolling over for the first time, sitting up for the first time, clapping, saying dada, and walking.  As I write you this letter, you are walking around our living room.  You keep your arms in front of you for balance, it is pretty much the cutest thing ever.  When you are sick, you snuggle so close.  You do not pass a mirror without waving to yourself, but I can't get you to wave at other people yet.  If I look at you, and giggle really loud, you will look at me and giggle back.  You are a nutball of a baby.  We call you destructo, because there is nothing within your reach that you won't destroy.  I am often amazed that you know the one thing in the room that you are not allowed to have, and you go straight for that thing.   You have an incredible appetite, but you don't love vegetables. I think if you could eat graham crackers every day for the rest of your life you would.


 You are in.love. with your daddy.  From the moment he comes into the house, you just stare at him.  He is the first name you learned, the first person you find when I say, 'where is your daddy'. You get sad, in the morning, when he leaves for work.  And he is SUCH a great dad.  Getting to watch your daddy be a daddy has been incredible. I fall more and more in love with him each and every day because he gave me you, because he helps with you, because he tells you he loves you every day and gives you kisses and reads you stories.  Sometimes your daddy sings you songs he just makes up, that is my favorite.  They are funny, silly songs.  It is awesome.


There were some times that were hard this year.  When you were first home, you gave us a run for our money.  Tummy issues made you colicky.  You cried all.the.time.  I used to say if you weren't so cute, I would have sent you back.  But, we figured out, if you were on Soy you would be much better.  Then, we went to Mass on a Tuesday night, on our way home, I didn't strap you in your stroller. At three weeks old you fell out and hit the concrete, on your head.  It was the worst moment of my life, it is hard to even think about and I still get teared up when I think about those few moments, when you were screaming, a ball on the ground, so small. I could barely move, I was, I think, in shock.  You got your first stay in the hospital for that one.  A lil' skull fracture.  Like auntie k-k says, 'I broke your skull once, I can do it again!  I had to leave you when you were three months old to go to Spain, that broke.my.heart.  Your daddy took such good care of you, he loved you so perfectly and enough for both of us, but it was terrible leaving you.  We had a heart issue that resolved itself, and then, because you had such a big head we had to do a special ultra sound to make sure you didn't have fluid on the brain. Sometimes, it is hard being a mommy.  I wouldn't trade it for the world, but I sure do miss sleeping in. You don't really let us do that anymore, you will understand when you are teenager how much of a sacrifice that is!  You are a stubborn lil' dude, but man, I kind of dig that about you!  It hasn't been super easy, but it has always been awesome!

You are LOVED by so many people.  Strangers stop us all the time to tell us how cute you are.  Everyone thinks we should get you in baby modeling.  You have the biggest eyes and the most squeezable cheeks.  Your laugh shakes a room.  Your family, aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, they were all so excited when you got here and they love to see you whenever they can.  You are spoiled so much by busie and har-har that your aunts and uncles have begun to refer to you as 'precious'.  Busie always says, 'there is something special about that boy'.  Your Grammie and Papa love spending time with you.  They watch you all the time and you love to laugh with them.  Har Har and you have a very special relationship.  He watches you while mommy is at work.  You love to look at him, ride on his knee, stare at his glasses and sometimes pull his goatee.

We found out when you were 5 months old that you are going to have a baby sibling.  We later found out he is a boy.   A lot of first time moms worry about having to split their love with a second child.  So far, I have not had that fear, I think mostly because I know you are going to be the BEST big brother. I am so excited for our lil' Joseph Michael. That we get to have another sweet baby boy, and that you get to be his brother. I can't wait to watch you guys grow up.  I can't wait to watch you protect him. I can't wait to watch you play football together and, don't quote me on this (so I probably shouldn't be writing it) but I can't wait to split up your little squabbles and have you give each other hugs and kisses to make up.  Our family is multiplying in love, it is such a gift!

There is so much I love about having you in my life. I love taking you to Church, I love praying with you every night.  Daddy and I want to make sure you understand how much Jesus loves you. We want you to be best friends with him, even when it is hard for you.  He loves you so much.  He loves all of us so much, that he gave us to each other and made us a little family.  Your Baptism day was one of the coolest days ever, I loved watching you become a new creation.  At that point, you were colicky all.the.time. I was so afraid the day would be stressful and overwhelming.  For some reason, that day, you were perfectly content.  You didn't cry at all, even when we put on the long itchy dress.  You stayed calm and happy, the perfect little angel.  I think that you knew what a special day it was...so cool. We love taking you to Mass, even though you are sometimes a stinker.  We love to pray with you and read you stories about God, the Saints and the Church. I can't wait to raise you to be a saint.  Sometimes I think that I really need to work on how I act.  I still use bad words all the time. I lose my temper with your daddy; I am quick to anger and slow to love.  I am trying to work on all those things so that I can be the best mom for you and the best wife to your daddy. I am hoping, hoping, hoping that when you see me, you see God's light shine though.  I have a LOT of work to do on that.  I am sorry for the times this year that I haven't been a good example to you, please know I am working on it.  I just love you so much, and I want to be the best I can be for you!


It was hard to start this letter and it is harder to end it.  I think because words can NEVER do justice to what you have brought me this year.  It is a beautiful thing to love someone so much that words seem cheap. You are an incredible little boy Aaron Christopher the Second.  You have brought us so much joy!  Being a mom is the coolest thing I have ever done and the coolest thing I will ever do. I love you more than yesterday but not as much as tomorrow.  Happy First Birthday sweet baby boy.  May God's love continue to shine on and through you!

Love every day and more,
Mommy