Growing up

We are buying and picking up a ‘new to us’ minivan today.  I can hardly wait!  No, seriously, I can hardly wait.  I feel like a little kid, counting down the hours till the ol’ husband gets home so we can go get it. I must have asked him a million times today if there is any way he can get off a bit early, so we can go early.  This, my friends, is the shiznatch…we are going to be straight ballin’ in a 2006 white Town and Country with 50,000 miles!  And, wait for it…automatic doors and rear hatch!  I know!  Stow and go seats, a cd player, in really beautiful shape and the best news? It’ll be big enough to comfortably hold three car seats, a double stroller and a mom and a dad!  My life rocks. 

Less than a year ago I was horrified at the idea of a minivan.  Like, horrified.  Some of you reading the above paragraph might be horrified on my behalf.  A mini-van, to me, only one short year ago, was a status symbol of a boring life.  They are ‘ugly’. They are way too ‘practical’.  Who would voluntarily get one?  I tried to convince my husband we should get an SUV, or a Ford Flex (I love that car) anything but a boring, old mini-van.  But then, my pregnant belly kept getting bigger.  And as my pregnant belly kept getting bigger, my two babies kept getting older. Riding in the car, especially on the few road trips we have taken this summer has REALLY sucked.  The boys might need something, but it was really hard to navigate to get to them.  I know, I know, #firstworldproblems.  The more difficult it was to travel, the more I began to fantasize about the Fall and how freaking awesome it was going to be to have my minivan.

I guess this is growing up.

You know, in my twenties, most people that knew me well, would describe (in a kind, gentle way) a girl with a little bit of a Peter Pan complex.  Growing up took a toll on me. I wasn’t ready for it. I think, in part, as a rebellion of it, I kind of lived in denial.  Student debt wasn’t taken care of, I wasn’t responsible with my health choices, and although in a lot of ways I was ‘grown up’ at work…my personal life reflected girl resisting moving out of her early twenties.  But adventures?  Man, I have had exciting adventures.  At the ripe ol’ age of 33, I can say I have been to five continents.  I have been on mission trips in the third world, created memories of travel to 17 different countries.  I traveled in the back of a pick-up truck to California for goodness sakes.  I have LIVED life.  And I have lived it well.  Not just travel either, I have good friends, I have drank really good beer (does bud light count???).  When I think of the things God has allowed me to do in my life… it is stunning.  And yet, at this point, buying a mini-van is, ‘livin’ the dream!’  It really and truly is.

The other day, when we had put the boys to bed (best hour of the day) I went to go take a really long shower.  On my way, I glanced out into my back yard.  The grass is always a bit too long.  We are by no means landscapers.  BUT, I saw several ‘little tykes’ cars, a plastic slide, and an awesome square climby thing that papa brought to the little boys.  And friends, I felt SO.CONTENT.  It’s the same peacefullness I feel when I almost step on a toy car.  Or when lil’ A gets up in the morning and calls, ‘mama’ from his bed.  The same peacefulness I feel when my incredible husband snuggles me for a few extra minutes in the morning before we get up to tend to our crying children.  I, sometimes, cannot BELIEVE this is our life. I cannot believe I have been chosen to be the mother of three awesome boys and that I get to call my exceptional husband my spouse.

It doesn’t mean it’s easy.  No, in fact, it is REALLY REALLY hard.  Much harder than anyone warned me about.  We joke all the time about how we never really knew how good we had it before marriage and kids.  We laugh at the ridiculousness of having a third kid, just as our second has finally begun to walk and our first is talking in sentences.  As you know, the quest to be selfless is not easy for me, the husband and I fight more than I care to admit and I say things to him sometimes that would shock you all (because, clearly, I would NEVER talk to my husband that way).  One of my sister and brother in law’s favorite things to do is read out loud, ‘angry Mary text messages’ with enough swear words to earn me a ‘rated R’.

And yet, yesterday, Aaron and I were talking about how excited we are about the minivan and our lives.   How ‘baller’ it is going to be and how ridiculous it is that we have three children well before our fourth year wedding anniversary.  I said to him as we talked, ‘do you think you are going to wake up one day and regret it?  Have some mid-life crisis about the fact that before you were thirty you had three kids, a mortgage and a minivan?’  Aaron responded that he lived really well before we were married.  He did a lot of things.  He traveled and dated some ladies ;)  And he said he wouldn’t go back.  He said he really and truly loves our life.

And I tend to agree…

Minivan and all :)