On the eve of my oldest child's 2nd Birthday

My little big boy munch chi chi-

Aaron, you are two.years.old!!!!  Can you even believe it?  This year has been busy and it has been awesome. I got to watch you be a big brother and you get to teach your little brother how to be a big brother.   Watching you grow has been awesome.  I say to you all the time (when you are not driving me crazy). ‘you’re the best!’.  And I do so because really, my son, you are the best.  So, let’s spend a second and talk about your second year of life shall we?

You continue to be a joy to everyone around you!  Your smile lights up rooms.  You are silly and you love to make people laugh.  When you get excited, you say, ‘wow’ really really loudly!  It took you awhile to start talking and, truth be told, you are still kind of getting used to expressing yourself that way.  BUT, you have full conversations with everyone, the only thing is, we have no idea what you are saying.  Sometimes, because mommy has been tired with taking care of you, Joey and the new baby, I really need your joy to remember how awesome everything is.  A few weeks ago, I was working on the computer and you were trying to get my attention.  Just like they tell you not to do, I was ignoring you.  You climbed right unto my lap, took my head between your hands and said, ‘num nums’ with this crazy smile J  It was awesome.

Oh, did I mention num nums? I guess that leads me to my next point.  Let’s talk about the things you like…Kid, if you could eat all the time you would.  No joke.  The first thing you do in the morning is request food and those requests continue from the wee hours of the morning until right before bedtime. I don’t think you are hungry, you just like to eat.  Now, if we could only get you to enjoy your vegetables, we’d really have something going on.  

Although nothing quite has your heart like num-nums, next in line is definitely cars.  Who knew how much of a car dude you would be.  You ask to play cars like, every twenty seconds.  You line them up and then move them and line them up again.  Just recently, you have started to make them fly.  Your obsession started at your Grammy and Papas house and both sets of grandparents have indulged your addiction.  

Sometimes, people say you shouldn’t let toddlers watch tv. Um, your daddy and I do not follow that rule.  Your favorite shows to watch are Yo Gabba Gabba (we went to see them live this year, you SOBBED when DJ lance left the stage) Barney (I will go straight to heaven for letting you watch that) and, Lazy Town (I don’t like this one as much for you, but alas, when I really need you distracted, it happens).  And of course, 'cars' of any type.  Then, would you believe your cousin Rocky introduced you to Monster Trucks??? Um, sweet son, I never thought I would have a kid that watches Monster Trucks, but, alas, I do. You watch like a fanatic.  People laugh when we give you the ipad and let you watch them because you sit so still, memorized.  

And then there are balls!  Balls of any kind.  Soccer balls, footballs, basketballs, etc…you are a boy through and through!  Your auntie taught you this awesome game!  She says ‘set’ and you drop down on three fingers, then she says, ‘HIKE’ and you run off.  Maybe a foreshadow of what’s to come.  Two words…ready?  GO BLUE!

I’d like to get serious for a moment buddy if you don’t mind…I might even cry a bit when I write this.  People have said, if you want to, and you are able, it is a really cool thing to give your child the gift of a sibling.  It took awhile, I think, for you to understand that Joseph was a person and not just a toy, but when you did, you fell in love with him like we did.  Son, you are an awesome big brother.  Now, don’t get me wrong, you sometimes forget to share (sometimes? um...maybe always!) and ‘no no joey’ is one of your favorite things to say.  But, MAN do you love your brother.  You always wake up a bit before him, but when you hear his first cry, you always say, ‘It’s JOEY!!!’ and run to his room.  You love to be the first person to wake him up.  You love to say, ‘up’ and I lift you in his crib and you boys jump together.  Sometimes I can tell you get annoyed with him (mostly when he touches your cars) and sometimes you get a little sassy when he is grabbing our attention, but for the most part you look out for him.  When he started crawling, you started to crawl again, so you two could play together.  You pet his hair often.  And, every time you get a little carried away in excitement and hit him (yes...it happens) you say ‘sowwy’ and show him ‘gentle’ by rubbing his face.  Aaron, Joseph is SO lucky to have you. 

 I can’t wait to watch you two grow up together, as playmates and as best friends.  He will look to you, buddy, to know how to act, and so far you are giving him SUCH a great example. I watch him, watching you, all the time.  To know that you will be there to protect him, sets my mommy heart as ease.  The best thing we ever did was have you and then, have another right away.  And now, my goodness, you get ANOTHER brother.  Do you know that you are already giving him kisses in my belly and praying for your newest little brother every night??? You get to practice holding a baby with Thomas and with the twins, and you are going to be awesome at it. God knew what he was doing when he gave us you, first, to lead your brothers through life.

Your daddy sometimes tries to be tough, but even he can’t hide how cool he thinks you are.  When you talk to him, it makes him smile.  He loves when you give him snuggles.  You like to watch him play video games and he likes to get up with you in the mornings (um, 'likes' might be a bit of an exaggeration!) so you can have ‘dude time’.  There is a lot that amazes me about you kid, but watching you turn my husband into a daddy has been so cool.  He is a good dad. And you are an awesome son.  I like how that works out.

A couple more things so I don’t forget.  My favorite thing to do with you?  I clap and sing, "Question????  Who, is, the best mom, eveeer?" and you answer, "MAMA!!!!"  We have gotten so good at it, usually I only have to say, ‘QUESTION’ and you scream it out.  But baby love sometimes I stink at being the best mom ever.

There have been a handful of times this year where I haven’t been a good mom.  When I have been tired and snapped at you.  I hate when I do that.  Especially when you don’t deserve it, and when I am just tired.  I have been really sick with your newest brother, so a lot of time you have to play on your own, and even sometimes help with Joey (you are the best wipe-getter and diaper thrower outer ever)! Sometimes, I have to just bum around on the couch until I can get the energy to take care of you guys, and you have been so awesome with that.  I love when you come up to me and sneak right next to me to sit down.  I love that you are patient with me. I love that you seem to understand how sacred it is when I have to say, ‘sorry’ to you and that you always look at me with a smile,  reassuring me that it is okay and you have forgiven me.  I am going to try to be a better mommy for you next year, and the year after. I want to keep working at it, so I can be the type of mom that you deserve.  It’s hard work.  But I am trying.  Thank you for understanding when I screw it up.  Hey, at least this year I didn't crack your skull!!!!

Can I tell you a secret?  The older you get, the more it hurts to love you.  I know that sounds crazy, but it is true. I never ever understood what loving someone so much it hurts meant, until I had you.  My heart sometimes actually feels like it will explode for love of you.  Thinking about what a cool kid you are makes my eyes well up. I worry about you more than I knew humanly possible.  The hurt isn't bad, but it is real.  I imagine it is probably a taste of how God feels for us.  I want everything good to come to you, I want you to know how special you are, I want you to be happy, and more than that, I want you to be good.  If I could kiss you and hold you forever, I would.

And, if I feel that way about you, I can’t imagine how God feels about you.  I can’t believe, actually can’t believe, that He has trusted your daddy and I to care for you and raise you to hopefully be a saint.  I love that you are starting to understand how cool God is.  How much Jesus loves you. When we go to Church, you always say, ‘HIII!!!!’ really loud to the cross and then you blow Jesus kisses.  You are learning to behave in Mass and you can finally bless yourself and say Amen.  50% of the time you sit nicely through prayers at nighttime!  Your daddy and I continue to pray that we can do a good job to show you how much Our God loves you.  We fail at it all the time, but we keep trying.

Baby boy, I have a love/hate relationship with this growing older thing.  On one hand, you become cooler each day, and I adore getting to know you, teach you, play with you, smile with you and laugh with you (we laugh so much) but darn it all, you are losing that ‘baby thing’. You are a now a toddler, you’ll soon be a little boy, and then a kid, then a teen (gasp) then married! But for now, we will be so thankful for your second year of life and we will ask God to bless your third.

I love you baby boy.  I am so blessed to be your mom!

Mom

April 28^th 2013