Monday, December 9, 2013

It's ridiculous that we have to go to confession to be forgiven...

...just kidding!  It's not.

About 25% of the time in my new life as a Stay At Home Mom, life is exceptional.  Things run smoothly, schedules happen, the kids are adorable, and I cannot believe I am blessed with the type of life we have.  I do some projects and cook dinner, feeling like super mom all the while.  It’s awesome.

About 50% of the time, things are good. Nothing special.  The kids are kept alive and not melting down, we are aware of our blessings, everyone naps once a day and eats the meals placed in front of them.  I am aware that ‘good’ is a gift to be treasured.

About 20% of the time, things are hard.  One kid refuses to nap or is whiny, I am riding the struggle bus of being so tired and the guilt that comes with just putting on a show so I can take a second to think.  I get overwhelmed by the things that need to get done and the overwhelmed shoots back at the kids, so we are all on edge.

And about 5% of the time, things get a little out of hand around these parts.  When none of the kids want to nap, all of them are cranky, no one wants to eat, nothing can bring our house joy...you know the drill.  The great thing is it is just 5% of the time.

picture by R.wasylyshyn
And though I would love to tell you during that 5% I respond with grace and holiness, the fact is. I don’t.

I lived that 5% last week.

I was trying to finish up the last paragraph of a blog (I know, I know, so self important- post on that to come)…Joey  and John Paul made it obvious that a morning nap was NOT going to happen.  My sweet Aaron was whining and demanding, and shouting, ‘no’ with his lists of demands.  I could have dealt with this any way, but instead, I had one of those ‘epic fail moments’.  Though I haven’t said ‘SHUT UP’ to my child since THIS FAMOUS MOMENT….I looked at him and said, ‘If you don’t shut your mouth RIGHT NOW, I am going to smack you across the face’ (for the record, smacks across the face actually don’t happen around these parts yet).  He looked at me scared.  And, I realized my yelling was disproportionate to the situation.  My children weren't being, ‘bad’ they were being toddlers and babies.  And,  you don’t get to yell at a baby/toddler, for acting like a baby toddler.

You just don’t.

So I shut the computer and didn't open it again until they went to bed.  I held Aaron in my arms and I apologized for losing my temper (thanks moms for that suggestions).  I played better with the kids and tried to let go of the fact that I unfairly screamed at lil’ Aaron and lost my temper.

But as much as I tried, I was struggling to let it go.

Because life works out that way, later that week, we had a sitter and I was blessed to go to confession.  As I was waiting to enter the room of reconciliation, I was examining my conscience. I was thinking about all the ways I fail as a mother/wife/friend/disciple.  And you know what? I started crying a bit.  Why?  I was crying because I was so very thankful for the gift of the powerful forgiveness of Christ as expressed in this beautiful Sacrament.  I thought about yelling at lil' Aaron, ‘IF you don’t shut your mouth RIGHT now I am going smack your face’ and I knew I was going to be able to ‘whisper it into the ear of Christ’ in this awesome Sacrament we get to partake in.

After Confession, the priest told me that I was forgiven and that God loved me.  And you know what?  Once again, I believed it.  I wasn't struggling to let go of my failing as a mom, because I HEARD Jesus say, ‘I absolve you from your sins’ through the gift of the priest.

There’s all kinds of reasons why the Sacrament of Confession Rocks.

It rocks because Jesus started it and commanded the first priests to forgive sins
It rocks because the Church has held the tradition of confessing since Jesus’ death and Resurrection
It rocks because it is the way the Jesus CHOSE sins to be forgiven here on earth…

But wanna know why it really rocks?
It really rocks because sometimes we have to hear it.  Sometimes we have to hear a priest say, ‘you are forgiven’.  Sometimes we have to physically name our failings and be certain that our God acknowledges the ways that we fail, then says, ‘I absolve you’.

It REALLY rocks because our sins hurt the community.  And as much as we try to forgive ourselves, what we need, most often, is the reassurance through our penance that the community is being healed.

Check it.

If you haven’t gotten your ‘confession’ on in awhile.  Might I suggest, during this Advent, you make it happen?  You won’t regret it.  Ain't nothing better than a soul that is cleansed by the forgiveness of a God who loves.

I’m just sayin’


  1. sounds like it was a tough moment. rest assured that everyone says things they regret later in such moments. but, yeah for confession :)

  2. Ugh I have those 5% moments too and it's hard to forgive myself for being a fallen human. I tend to dwell. But one of my favorite things about being a Catholic is confession, it's crazy but true.