Christmas Break Happenings...

...in the Wilkerson Household.

Warning: THIS POST IS ENTIRELY TOO LONG

So, isn't Christmas break weird?  I can't believe it is Monday, the 30th right now.  We have been up to too much stuff, but alas, it 'tis what it 'tis and aside from sickness hitting everyone and their mom hard, it's been pretty great. I'd like to tell you about it.

Friday, Dec. 20th

We had my old boss over for dinner and celebrated with some of our friends a little bit of Christmas.  Our friends spoiled our kids rotten and we went home feeling so blessed.  There is a lot I am thankful for this year, but perhaps one of the biggest blessings is having a community of people who love our children.

Saturday, Dec. 21st
Santa came to our house. It was very exciting for the boys.  Aaron was pretty psyched.  Joey was intrigued by Santa's voice, which sounded a little bit like Har-Har's (their grandfather).  John Paul was pretty much amazed as he is with everything in our lives.  Santa brought the boys little gifts and had to trudge through some pretty gross slush to make it to our front door....so we owe him.

Sunday, Dec. 22nd
Deep breath

Monday, Dec. 23rd
Aaron had to work, but we surprised the boys by going to Chuck E Cheese for lunch.  Chuck E Cheese is kind of a right of passage huh?  

It's also pretty disgusting all around.  But the kids were in heaven and it was happy to see Big A at lunch, so overall a win.

Tuesday, Dec. 24th

Lots of people sick canceling plans.  We ended up deciding last minute to hit up the children's Mass at a Church right around the corner.  It was lovely (well, as lovely as Mass with three little children, one of them sick-ish, can be).  Highlight?  Aaron went to go get the car with lil' A and John Paul. It was just me and my high needs toddler Joey.  The choir was playing 'Silent Night'.  Who knew how much more significant that song is when you have a sweet baby boy in your lap, who happens to be your son and you happen to be celebrating baby Jesus' Birthday. I cried.  A lot. We came back to a nice night of movie watching and hanging with my littlest sister.

Wednesday, Dec. 25th
We started out placing baby Jesus on our Advent Calendar and then sang him 'Happy Birthday' with our 'blue cake'.  Then we did present exchanging.  The kids got their heart's desire (car toy eggs- if you know, you know).  Big Aaron made out with 'Dad is Fat' (awesome book) a fancy water bottle and some work out shirts.  And, my life rocked with a bravotv cup/sweatshirt, plus a 'Marian Devotion for the Domestic Church' book (which pretty much tells you everything you need to know about me).  Big A also made me a jar of things.  The things are things to do or say to strengthen our marriage.  Awesomesauce right?
My inlaws came over for brunch and hooked us up with matching outfits, for the boys, a tent and "big brother, middle brother, little brother" shirts, along with other things. All around great morning!!!

Thursday, Dec. 26th
Joey dumped a glass of water on my computer and fried it.  Pray we can recover the files or we have pretty much no record of John Paul's life thus far (silly me, haven't backed up since July)  Lil' A got to try his hand at Roller Skating at the Wilkerson Family Grandparent's Day. It was rad.  

Then, we celebrated Wiglia two days late at my parents (due to all the sickness).  The kids MADE OUT with comfy teddy bears, and cool table settings.  But, I am perhaps the winner of life, scoring real.life.pearls from my mom/dad who found them on a ridiculous sale.  Here's the thing, I am fancy.  We surprised my parents with a set of bikes that all the siblings pitched in to buy.  Lots of joy on this night and really good food :)

Friday, Dec. 27th
Cousin Judy came and spoiled our boys rotten with her love and gifts while Aaron and I got to go on a mid-afternoon date. We went to the cheesecake factory (Shocking! I know) and then wondered around the mall.  It was fun and a nice break.

Saturday, Dec. 28th
Joey down for the count with a cold.  I got to do a fancy afternoon of getting my hair did and nails did.

 Big Aaron's car broke and...we went on an awesome date. I mean really awesome.  Right up there in the books.  Big A won his fantasy football league (that's right, for those of you paying attention, two years in a row) and took all his winnings to spoil me rotten.  We started at the Edsel Ford house, a mansion owned by the Ford Family.  It made me cry it was so beautiful. I felt like I was walking through 'Little Women'.  Then, we went to my favorite restaurant of fancy, 'the Coach Insignia' on top of the Ren Cen.

  A two hour dinner of fancy with no interruptions, so cool.  We reflected on our year and planned for next.  And held hands. I love holding hands.

Sunday, Dec. 29th
The thing I tried to avoid happened and I got sick.  Joey intensified his sickness and we fixed Big Aaron's car.  Aaron's brother Brian came over and we got some good talk time in along with cousin play.

Which brings us to today...
The kids woke up at 6:00 am and I said to Aaron, 'you got to go get them, I am really feeling sick'.  To which he responded, 'I am sick too'.  There is perhaps nothing as not awesome as when both parents are sick when kids are sick. We both have colds/congestion.  At 10:00 am, we put the little two down for a nap, and placed lil' A in between us on our bed, with the ipad, while we both fell asleep.  It's that kind of day.

New Year...we got our eye on you...

The Cry of the Mama Bear...

…or lack thereof.

You know how people talk about being mama-bears?  Although sometimes I feel a  deep sense of defense for my children, more often than not, I am on the opposite side of the spectrum.  Can I tell you a story that has stayed with me so deep in my heart that sometimes it makes tears sting my eyes? 

About a year ago, this awful thing happened.  We were at this place and there was this dude (side-note- I am being purposefully vague, but I am quite certain if you are reading this blog, you weren't at this place and you weren't the dude). And the dude started rough housing with little Aaron.  The dude was an adult.  And the dude was hurting my son, I could tell.  But for some reason, I didn't speak up. I didn't speak up when lil’ A looked at me, and I saw pain in his eyes. I didn't speak up even though my stomach was hurting and my palms were beginning to sweat.  The whole thing probably lasted around 3 minutes, and then someone else said, ‘it doesn’t look like he is having fun, it looks like you are hurting him’.  And, praise God, the man stopped. 

But I didn't’t stop him.

I didn't stop him because I was afraid to embarrass this adult. I was afraid to be ‘that mom’ who jumps to fast and defends too quickly. I didn't stop him because I am a new mom and kind of insecure .I didn't stop him. 

And it still bothers me that I didn't.

You see, I don’t think I am a ‘people pleaser’ by any means.  But, I do try to my hardest to make people feel comfortable.  And I do fight against some of the coddling trends I see in current parenting.  And sometimes, I do it to the detriment of my kids.  Sometimes I yell at them first in a crowd of kids, just so we are not ‘those people’ who let their kids get away with anything. 

Sometimes, I am quick to make a sarcastic comment about them in response to a compliment.  Sometimes, I forget that my job, second only to getting my children to heaven, is to protect them.

And, I am trying to get better at it. I really am. I am trying to remember and find courage to speak up against people when they are making my kids uncomfortable or going against my wishes. I am trying to not put us in positions that aren't good for our family, for the sake of not hurting other’s feelings.  But damn. It’s hard.

I know it’s not a "Talk to me Tuesday", but I’d love to hear your thoughts on this.  However, right now, thoughts or not, I am writing it out. I am writing it out because it is 10:04 pm at night, the day before Christmas Eve and I was just getting ready for bed.  As I was,  I thought about the look in my son’s eyes when that man was hurting him.  And the tears stung once again. I thought to myself, ‘you need to be a bit more of a mama bear’. 

Hopefully, for the sake of my children…I will.

The "Mosts" post

Linking up with Amongst Lovely Things  to join in the 'Posts with Mosts' to end the year!

Post with the most clicks.
This was my post entitled 'A Defense of Marriage...Or Not"   It was written after everyone started putting the equal sign up as their profile pic.  I had thoughts. So I wrote them.  I have lots of thoughts on defending marriage and homosexuality.

Post with the most comments
'A Defense of Marriage...Or Not"  I know this might come as a shock to many of you but people have REALLY strong opinions when it comes to defending marriage!

Post with the best picture
Imma say 'THIS ONE' and it was lots of pictures.  With the guy I love.  He's my fav.

Post that was the hardest to write
THIS ONE.  After I yelled in a weird way at my kid.  And I was embarrassed. And I wasn't even sure I was going to share it.  Turns out, it was really great that I did.

Post that was my personal favorite
I think THIS ONE  C-section moms take a lot of hits from people that REALLY misunderstand why it goes down and the process of choosing it, particularly in the Catholic Blogging World. I'd imagine it is kind of how people who do home births take 'hits' in the secular world. It felt good to clear up a few of the things I was used to reading/seeing from different blogs/articles/etc... on why I made my choice and how I was lied to.

This was fun!  Go do it. You won't regret it!

Talk to Me Friday- keepin' it interesting edition

So, Talk to me Tuesday moved again...this time to Friday.
If you are worried about the Quick Takes...you can find them HERE
They are good, you should give them a read.

But, in the meantime, I am now ready to ask you the dreaded question, because we are about to go on the dreaded journey.  You ready?  We have purposefully not gone on this journey until now and we will not be starting until after Christmas...but...

TALK TO ME- POTTY TRAINING EDITION.

It's about that time for Little A.  He will be three in April, so I am ready to get all of your advice and then pick and choose what to do for our 'method' of potty training the children. I want it quick, I want it painless and I don't want to be cleaning up gross all the time.  So Talk to Me.

How did you potty train your boys, or how have you heard that people have potty trained boys?  I'm not really interested in the girl thing, because I have heard it is totally different with boys.  What kind of 'training toilet' did you use?  Pull ups or no?  How'd you reward?  How'd you explain?  What works?  What are some things everyone does that totally don't work?  How can I get this over and done with quickly, since I have the other guys at home?  Tell me I am foolish if I think it doesn't have to be a disaster...you know, all the goods. Give them to me!

K- Thanks. Bye.

7 Quick Takes in which I talk tattoos, sensitivity and workshops...

--- 1 ---

So...I did this.

In doing this I was SHOCKED to find the amount of people who think that getting tattoos is a 'sinful' action.  Weird.  It's not.  It can be a dumb decision. Mine wasn't dumb. I have wanted it for a long time.  Four years ago, I went on a life changing pilgrimage to the Holy Land.  After not being on a date in a half a decade,  I prayed fervently during that Holy Trip that the Lord would bring me a spouse or allow me to be content as a single person.  3 weeks later, Aaron asked me on our first date and the rest- well, you know!  This tattoo, I have seen on others who have taken the trip to the Holy Land and ever since then I have desperately wanted it.  Being with my crazy sisters gave me the courage. Et Voila!

--- 2 ---

Sisters weekend rocked.  A lot.  Starting with free drinks and a free breakfast by the kindest hotel staff ever, followed by bonding and tattoos, a delicious dinner, meeting 'Drake' the singer twice and engaging in just enough shenanigans to make it memorable.  OH!  And no fights, and no drama.  A few moments of sass, but nothing our tough skins couldn't handle.

--- 3 ---

Speaking of tough skins.  So, this is weird but it has been on my mind.  Often times, I allow myself to be made fun of and I use self deprecating humor as almost a tool to bring people together/make people comfortable.  I dig it.  It's kind of what I do.  However, I am realizing that sometimes doing that allows people to go a bit too far and cross into areas of sensitivity/teasing that can be hurtful.  It reminds me of racial things. I'll never forget when Aaron and I got engaged, him saying, 'you have to be careful how much joking you allow about race, because then you give people permission and some people don't know the line'.  I didn't understand what he was saying until people crossed that line a few times.  Anyway, stuff to ponder.  No one wants to be a stick in the mud, but no one wants to be constantly laid into either.  thoughts?

--- 4 ---

I like our new gym AND...AND...I discovered I can watch netflix shows whilst working out. Jackpot.  Consider me happy. Oh, and we had to buy swim diapers...why?  Because it has a fun little toddler pool to take our munchkins in.  Oh, and it has a cafe, with real food. And two hours of babysitting per kid per day. So, date nights at the gym I'm thinking.

--- 5 ---

I cannot wait for Tuesday, December 24th.  Both because we get to celebrate baby Jesus' birthday (with a blue cake) at night AND because Big A is going to be home for a week.  We need this week.  It's been a bit crazy around these parts.  I am very purposefully making not a single plan until Jan. 6th. I don't want to do anything but hang out with my little family.

--- 6 ---

Hey! Are you a Church professional, catechist, volunteer, etc...in the AoD or beyond?   Check it out.  The ol' ministry partner, Mike Chamberland and I are leading a workshop for Office for Evangelization and Catechesis on a pastoral approach to discussing the 'hot topic' of homosexuality.  We are super pumped about the day and it'd be great to have some familiar faces.  PLUS, after years of prayer/etc...I feel good about an approach that 'works'.  Wanna hear more about it?  Sign up!

--- 7 ---

Lemme leave you with a little 'Yo Gabba Gabba' awesome for those of you who are not my facebook friends.

Despite this kid's face, he was super psyched to be DJ Lance

Love me some kids!

Joey is wondering what's on his head and Aaron is wondering why the hell I am taking pictures (clearly)

Joey is looking to his big brother as to an explanation of why they are dressed in bright orange suits!

Happy (almost) Friday!

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

Generation Selfie

Have you been here?  A picture is taken and then someone says, ‘wait!  Let me see that…hmmm, I don’t look good, can we take it again?’.  Working with teenagers, it was an everyday occurrence.  And I hated it, but never said anything. I’d delete the imperfect one, take another, while silently mumbling in my head about the egos of kids today.

I wish I would have said something.

Generation Selfie-  Let’s talk about it.

The other day, I was cruising with a young adult in the car, and I noticed she was taking pictures of herself. At first I ignored it.  That is how much I hate the selfie, I can’t even handle a discussion on it.  But then I had to ask, ‘um, are you seriously taking selfies in the car right now?’  Turns out, she was just snap chatting (I still don’t get the appeal).  BUT, it led to  conversation.

Acceptable Selfie- more than one person

You see, I don’t understand the selfie.  And let me explain what I mean by selfie. I’m not talking about group pictures. I’m not talking about silly pictures. I’m not talking about pictures to show off a new piercing etc… I’m talking about the epidemic of young people (and some older people) taking multiple pictures of themselves and posting them on social media.  It has always sat really uneasy with me, but I wasn’t quite sure why.

So, I asked this young person, ‘Don’t you think it’s weird, to like, take multiple pictures of yourself and post them on social media?’

“Not weird at all” she said, “It’s basically what Instagram is for”. 

“But why!??!” I asked.

And then she said it, “Well, if I look good, I want people to know I look good, so I post a picture of it.  If I look skinny, I post a pictures of it. Selfies are awesome”.

I was almost offended by her honesty, but then she challenged me.  “Hey, when you used to go out to bars, didn't you get yourself ‘did’? You wanted to look good and you wanted people to know you looked good”

And she was right.  I went on to ask her if she thought it was egotistical, if she thought it was shallow.  She reflected that maybe it was a bit, but she didn't’t think there was anything wrong with it.  So I let that sit and I let it sink in.  And I figured out why her statements sat uncomfortably with me.

FIRST

Taking a selfie and posting it on social networking is NOT like going out to a bar. It’s not like dressing up and looking good.  It’s not like going out and meeting people, talking to them, smiling/laughing with them and letting them see your soul.  Taking a selfie isn't showing people who you are, it is showing people who you are is what you look like.  And here's the thing... what you look like is a PART of who you are, but perhaps the LEAST important. Generation selfie makes it MOST important.

SECOND

Generation Selfie, for the most part, leaves little room for imperfections.  We post pictures showing us at our best angles, with the best lighting, the pictures that make us look ‘thin’ the pictures that hide the imperfections…the flaws. I once had a picture as my profile that wasn't the most flattering. BUT, I loved it- because it showed true joy. I had a laugh on my face, that was being shared by my oldest son.  I loved that picture.  Do you know, when I took it down, SO MANY PEOPLE commented/said, ‘I am so glad you took that picture down of yourself, I HATED it!’ (if you said that, it’s okay, I get it!)?  I can’t tell you how many times I have taken pictures with women and they have said, turn your face, pull your chin up, it makes you look better.   But the thing is, maybe we don’t always need to ‘look better’.  Maybe we can look good, just as we are.  Maybe our flaws, our imperfections, the ‘bad pictures’ taken of us show people a realness this world is desperately seeking.  Maybe, we can be okay with who we are on the outside, (assuming we've taken the time to be healthy).  Maybe, God loves us and made us, with some ‘flaws’ with some ‘imperfections’ and maybe those are the very things that make us vulnerable enough to be real with people.

My awesome and apparently unacceptable profile pictures

At the end of the conversation I said, ‘You know, I don’t like this and I don’t think it’s good. I don’t think it’s good. We are so concerned with how our exterior looks to the point where we feel we have to be perfect in every picture’.  This young adult said, ‘you might not like it, but it is not changing, it is the way things are’.  And I felt sad. 

And then I said, ‘well, there’s always the second coming…’

The.end.

7 Quick Takes- No Sass Edition (admit it, you are disappointed!)

--- 1 ---

I had the absolute pleasure of presenting at St. Regis' Advent by Candlelight last Sunday.  It went really well. Like, really well. And I loved every second of being with such beautiful women.  Would you do me a favor? Would you pray I can discern where God might be leading me/BOLD Ministries?  Things are going so well, and I am loving every minute. I am also very aware that I am called to be home with my three beautiful boys. Just trying to find balance...

--- 2 ---

The retreat I went on last week with the 'Oprah Nuns' was beyond awesome.  One thing they really stressed was a relationship with the BVM (Blessed Virgin Mary). Now, I don't ignore the lady, but I don't have a very specific devotion towards her.  That is changing.  I guess, silly as this sounds, I didn't realize how much her example can help me, especially when it comes to the thing I REALLY stink at...selfless love.  The sisters said there is no circumstance we go through as mothers that the Blessed Mother can't relate to.  MIND.BLOWN.  Thank you captain obvious...moving on.

--- 3 ---

So, we are joining lifetime. Don't judge. I am so freaking excited. 

--- 4 ---

Another opportunity for judgment if you'd like!  Tonight, our little family is going to the Fox Theater in Detroit to see Yo Gabba Gabba live.  Be still my freaking heart!  Lil' Aaron is just beside himself this morning with excitement.  We are going to meet Grammy and Papa for dinner at a pizza place downtown and then take the 'People Mover' (Detroit's FABULOUS transportation system) over to the FOX for the show.  Our besties are watching lil' JP, so it's just the big boys tonight. I think it's going to be so special.

--- 5 ---

Sisters Weekend- tomorrow!  Hey, can you say a prayer, we have been looking forward to it, but it is suppose to snow and I hate driving in snow.  The plan is lots of bonding, confession, some Jesus, some tattoos (true story, I think I'm gonna get my first, a Jerusalem cross on the inside of my lower arm- to commemorate my trip to the Holy Land...is that a huge mistake?!?!), some adult beverages and hopefully lots of laughs.  Here's hoping we can all play nice! It happens about 20% of the time us ladies get together.

--- 6 ---

The husband got up at 5:00 am to go to the gym this morning.  He couldn't find his keys.  He made a BIG ruckus.  Woke up the whole house by 5:45 am, so I've pretty much been rockin' it since the wee hours today.  Not that I am bitter.  Maybe, in the future, we should lay out our things if we plan on going to the gym at the A-- crack of dawn?  Maybe?  Good idea? No?  Oh, btw you read that right, the husband got up at 5:00 am to go the gym.  He is a rock star (aside from waking the whole darn house out). I am so proud of his commitment to crossfit.  Also, he kind of is awesome because he got up at 5:00 am, so that he could work out and get into work early so he can leave early so we can get our 'Yo Gabba Gabba on'.  I heart him...but he should still leave his clothes out the night before.

--- 7 ---

And finally, your smile for the day.  

"Do you know what the difference is between you going away for the weekend and me going away for the weekend"- Aaron

"What"- Me

"You won't be getting any angry messages from me while you enjoy your time"

#truestory #workinprogress

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!